Friday Flotsam: 9.28.2012: Lessons from my Grilled PB&J

© Cheese Curds & Kimchi

Hey Universe,

How are things going? Long time, no type.

Well, I was just sitting here, eating my grilled PB&J, and it made me think of you. You see, I recently discovered the grilled PB&J, and oh man, I gotta tell you, it's uh-may-zing. Why have I never made this before? I've always loved the simplicity that two pieces of bread, peanut butter and orange marmalade can bring. But grilling it took it to a whole new level--warm and gooey and...heavenly.

Yes, I just used the word heavenly to describe my sandwich.

So, you might be wondering, Universe, why the hell I'm rambling on about my sandwich?

It's like this: I've always loved my PB&J. I was perfectly happy with it and didn't have a complaint. I never felt like I was missing anything when I ate it. It filled me up. It left me satisfied. It was my go-to staple.

Too tired to cook? PB&J.
Bad day at work and need some comfort food? PB&J.
Going on a picnic at the lake? PB&J.
Having lunch with your favorite 2-year-old? PB&J!

Do you understand how loved my PB&J is? So maybe now you can understand why I'm so blown away to realize that changing one small thing---grilling it---could make it so much more amazing and enjoyable.

Who knew? So I started wondering...what about those other changes I've been thinking about that would make a big difference in my life? Move beyond food here. I'm talking about real changes that have been on my mind for a long while.

But I've been too scared, or lazy, or resistant, or stubborn to make them.

I'm not saying that I'm not incredibly thankful for all you've given me, Universe. Really and truly I am. I'm not playing that dangerous game of "I wish" or "if only". These are just a few things (OK, they are kinda big) that would bring me closer to things I already love, and re-align my priorities to reflect the changes in the past couple years.

I've tasted heavenly (see paragraph two). I know it's a little extra work but it's totally worth it. I'm not afraid of work. Never have been. But change...you know I'm not great with change.

They say that if you are open to new opportunities, state your intentions outloud and the opportunities will find you.

So, Universe, I hope you are listening. This is a long way of saying that I'm open. Open to new possibilities. Open to the unknown. Open to exploring. Open to making some changes. Gulp.

In short, I'm open to grilling.

Love, Pix

P.S. Don't forget to try the grilled PB&J!

The art of mothering....

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{image by limaoscarjuliet}

 

 

“The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.”  

 

 ― Elaine Heffner

The other side of the adoption coin: loud and angry

Comment received on my blog:

"What a revolting, solipsistic, narcisistic, self-centered, disgusting, heinous, odious, noisome, pathetic paean to everything that might possibly be wrong with Anglo-Saxon capitalist society and the dregs of humanity that it produces. Have you not one ounce of shame in that pea-sized thing in your head you call a brain? Have you no respect for anythign in this world other than your own self-glorification via your own mediation? I pray for the day when this child grows up, returns to Korea, and attempts to make up for the horrowshow that you will make of his life. There are 500 adult adoptees from the Korean diaspora who have returned to that country to shut down adoption there, and you would spit in their faces in order to fulfill what? Your destiny as members of an "elite of existence" who get to play God with other people's lives? How puke-worthy. If I started throwing up now and didn't stop for 100 years, it still wouldn't express how disgusting you are." Signed, daniel.ibnzayd

Open response to daniel.ibnzayd:

How dare you speak on behalf of all Korean adoptees. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion. But by no means do you represent the entire group of adoptees. Your opinion is that...your own.

What I feel for you is pity and sadness. It's a pity that you live your life filled with so much hate and anger, not only towards adoptive parents, but also for yourself. You also seem to spread your hate towards whites and specifically Americans. That's a lot of hate consuming you.

I'm totally open to hearing and learning more about how adoptees, particularly Korean adoptees feel. I'm not so innocent to believe that adoption is a perfect solution. And I know that it can cause immense pain for adoptees. I believe that the more I understand the journey, the better I can be at helping my son along his path. But diatribes filled with hate such as yours prevent any beneficial communication from taking place and end all discussion. Instead of reaching out to adoptive parents and helping other adoptees, you are alienating them.

So since you believe adoption is so wrong, I ask you: What exactly are you doing to help adoptees in Korea now? Yes, there is a group attempting to end international adoption, but considering that the culture of Korea is not fully accepting of single mothers or adoptees, what will happen to these children? What lives would you have them live? Would they be less pained by living in an orphanage in their country of origin? Or is it better to be loved and in a family, and return to your country as an adult?

Are you working to change the culture of acceptance for unwed mothers? Are you working to promote adoption within Korea? Instead of using your energy and brains to rant about how terrible Korean international adoption is, why not use them to help improve the system for adoptees int he future.

Although it's none of your business, I absolutely hope my child returns to Korea one day to learn what a wonderful country it is. To learn what a strong and passionate group people he comes from. I hope he contributes to society--be it in the U.S. or in Korea, or perhaps both--and he will share his gifts of love, passion and education to help others.

I'm sorry you have not learned the tools to work through your pain. I'm sorry that you allow adoption to be the scapegoat for all that seems to be wrong in your life. I hope you learn to move past this hatred, because it's consuming you (if you are trolling blogs and leaving such nasty comments, you seem to be consumed and are determined to inflict pain on others instead of trying to find ways to change the system).

Your hatred helps no one.

Best of luck.

Pix

Friday Flotsam: 9.14.2012

Oops. Fell off the wagon again. Last week my parents were here and there wasn't a single moment to blog! We filled every minute we could with family and had a blast! Every day, the first thing Little Man would say when he awoke was "Grandma sleeping? Papa?" and he'd rush out the door to track them down.

We did a couple huge things while they were here. The first weekend, The Man tried his hand on the race track. He's not a big racing fan, but he's always said he thought it would be a blast to drive one of those cars. So he did! We got him a day racing experience at the track where he took a short driving class and then drove a race car for 12 laps! Awesome!

Big grin! © Cheese Curds & Kimchi

The next weekend we ran the Tough Mudder. So much fun! It seems like another lifetime when The Man and I went off and did these sort of silly things. Grandma and Papa came with us and Little Man hung out with his favorite babysitter. We came back covered in mud and really tired, but wearing huge smiles. Sometimes it's really great to get out and do things alone.

Tough Mudders. © Cheese Curds & Kimchi

The rest of our days were filled with Little Man goading them to chase him around the house, or snuggling up with Grandma, or hanging out on Grandpa's shoulders. We found all sorts of little things during the day...a picnic in the park, hanging on the beach, hiking in the woods, touring the Miller Brewery, hunting for butterflies at the nature preserve, going to the kite festival and listening to music at Jazz in the Park.

Looking for frogs. © Cheese Curds & Kimchi

Captivated by the kites. © Cheese Curds & Kimchi

Picnic. © Cheese Curds & Kimchi

But then, before we knew it, the week was over. Definitely the worst part of the week! We watched them load up into their motor home, Grandma and I shedding more than a few tears. I wasn't sure what reaction Little Man would have, but he did great. He waved and blew kisses. You aren't ever really sure what kids this age are processing, but he told us later (over and over) about how Grandma and Papa got in their "big truck" and went bye-bye. He gets this little sad face when he tells us the story. And now he just pretends they are here, and leaves them cookies at the places where they sat at the table.

Thanks Grandma and Papa for coming out! We had an awesome time.

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Here are my favorite posts this week:

We just got this book, "I Love You Rituals". Can't wait to dig in and will let you know what we think!
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I loved this post about a family visiting their daughter's birth town in China. With their two oldest sons, the family traveled to China to bring home their daughter, and stopped off to visit her birth city and orphanage. The simplicity and directness of this post was very touching.
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Watch this beautfiul performance of the the gayageum, a traditional Korean musical instrument, posted at This Corner Of The Earth.
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Kids are back at school, and here's a short article about lessons learned in the classroom with internationally adopted children.
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Love this idea for turning children's art into tea towels.
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OMG. Seriously? Is Christmas really right around the corner? Better print this adorable Christmas Santa Beard countdown. 
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This looks like the perfect treat for fall. Autumn brittle with dried fruit and nuts! Yummmmm.

Friday Flotsam (on a Saturday) 9.1.2012

Ello.

I hear Little Man chatting away. I look around the corner and he's holding his remote control up to his ear, his shoulder hunched up against it, acting like he's talking on the phone.

Uh huh. Oh yeah.

I laugh. Evidently this is what he thinks is appropriate phone conversation.

I duck back into the kitchen, heart happy, listening to him chatter on in a one-sided conversation.

Yuv ooo.

I stop. He just said "love you". I wait to see what follows next. Who can he be imagining he's talking to?

Bye bye Daddy. See ya.

:::melting:::
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Great post by an adoptee Nathan Sung Budziak (Ki, Chungsung).
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For all those moms who are sure they are failing at Momhood, (or even those who think this on occasion), then read this amazing post.
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Thought this was a totally funny post at the Pregnant Chicken blog about shaken baby syndrome. I realize this is an irony...saying a post about shaking babies could be funny. But I can totally relate---there are definitely times when I've totally understood how a kid's crying (or fill in the blank) can drive you to extremes.
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Thank you Simple Mom for the reminder that imperfect homes have a perfection of another kind.
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I'm reaching for this post about fine motor skills helping children hit the reset button when they are totally out of control.
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Oh, how I love this tradition of making birthday trees!