2015 Korean and adoption Christmas ornaments round-up

(Grrr Blogger....apologies for all the crazy font variety in this post. It wasn't intentional and I can't figure out how to fix it!!)

Another year flown by and I realize that I've been a totally lame blogger. I really miss writing. Miss sitting down and having time to think and reflect. It's good for me. Slows me down a bit.

So a quick update on our past year. We are JUST starting to feel settled after our big move to Portland last September. New jobs for both of us. Temporary housing in an apartment with all our belongings stored until we could find a house. Another move (moving twice in a year is NOT recommended). Another school change for the boys. Little Man turned 5 and started kindergarten this year. Little Brother turned 3. 

And me...I'm started to breathe again. Starting to think about how I can try and fit in a little more time for myself, but many days it seems that we are barely holding this ship together. People say life will get busier and crazier as the boys get older. Sheesh...I can't imagine.

Last year's holiday ornament post was popular, so I thought I'd try to do another. I think many of the links for last year's finds might be good still, so be sure to check them out.

As always, Etsy totally rules for finding Korean ornaments. I'm totally loving this satin/fabric ornament from OrnamentDesigns on Etsy. Made to order for $25. Seller says it's created with Hanbok fabric purchased on a trip to South Korea in 2014.

Craftmaker LifeStitchedTogether has these very cute (and inexpensive!) maps, though I'm not sure they would be done in time for the holidays. $13

And check out these simple but sweet outlines of South Korea from WDShoppe for $11.50.

One last find on Etsy worth thinking about---these cut wooden ornaments that feature South Korea from PalmettoEngraving. Laser cut from birch and can be custom engraved with names/dates. Super steal at $6.99!

Be sure to check out Amazon. A simple "korean ornament" search led to this porcelain ornament.

http://amzn.to/1lqd2pg

Also discovered on Amazon were these beautiful traditional norigae, typically worn to adorn hanboks, but I think they would look fantastic on the tree. These are not likely to be here in time for Christmas, but maybe next year? http://amzn.to/1XCWR48

Cafe Press and Zazzle both have quite a selection of custom printed ornaments. I have no idea of the quality but you can even create your own designs. Here's a selection from Cafe Press.

Mandy's Moon also has a great selection of ornaments and cards that reflect multicultural families, not just Korean adoption families. They have customizable options for skin tones on ornaments, cards, etc. 

At our house we really love creating our own decorations and keep them from year to year. This year we'll be doing a paper doll craft, based on this free pattern. http://www.education.com/worksheet/article/paper-dolls-world-asia-XII/

The dolls also might look cute tucked into a clear class Christmas ornament with strips of Korean Hanji paper and glitter. Or something like that.

Single motherhood in Korea, KUMFA holiday gift drive

Mission complete! We just filled Korean Unwed Mothers Families’ Association last requested donation for a single mother and her five-year-old daughter in Korea. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! This program advocates for the rights of unwed pregnant women and unwed mothers in Korea. It was started by single mothers themselves!

The majority of children placed for adoption from South Korea are from single mothers. Think back to the taboo of unwed childbirth back in the 1950s in the USA. There's that type of stigma (though I think it's much worse) that still exists in Korea today.

This is a complex topic to understand. It's so culturally ingrained in the society that it's really difficult for a woman to buck the system.




Eat Your Kimchi posted this great video about the topic. One stat they had that blew my mind. According to the Ministry of Health and Welfare in 2007, out of 100 pregnancies by a single woman, 96 of them will have an abortion (though it is illegal there), and only 4 will give birth.

Of those four, three children will be placed for adoption due to social discrimination and financial difficulties.

One in 100 single mothers actually are able to keep their children! So heartbreaking.

Single mothers are ostracized, keep their status secret or they can be fired from their jobs, are alienated from friends and family, and there is no source of public funding available to help them. Children of a single mother are also treated sub-standardly.

There are some uncomfortable stats and information in the video about adoption.  I can't deny these make me squirm a lot. I have to acknowledge that adoption agencies do have a part to play in the messed up culture of unwed motherhood in Korea. Of course don't condone a practice of coercion by adoption agencies in getting these women to place their children, but the alternatives (abortion, for one) is heartbreaking too. More on that in another deep, philosophical post.

Anyhow, be sure to watch the video for more insights on single motherhood in Korea. And also check out this excellent post about KUMFA and their programs to support single mothers.

And if you are interested in donating too, here's the links:

• To donate to KUMFA or Heater, a home for unwed mothers/children (international): Paypal kumfa.volunteer@gmail.com
• To donate to Ae Ran Won, a program that helps provide counseling, job training and financial assistance to unwed mothers/children: http://www.aeranwon.com/help-us.php 

For more about single mothers, read our previous post "Forever family and single mom's day in Korea".

Sources for Korean Christmas Ornaments

Our 2014 family ornament from HERE.

Christmas is right around the corner! I'm trying not to panic! I'm using too many exclamations!

We aren't big-fuss holiday folks. Maybe that's because it's been just the two of us for most of our 20+ Christmas celebrations together. But I LOVE decorating the tree. We have boxes of ornaments, most of which were given to us as children. We ooh and ahh as the memories come back. Those ornaments are like tiny time capsules. The special ones from Iran given to The Man by his Aunt Shirley. The salt dough gingerbread man from my childhood who has survived for 40 years. The yellowed and frayed angel that my sister and I used to fight over every year.

We hang those ornaments on our aluminum tree, and somehow, all the Christmas love of the past is magically brought to the present. It's one of my favorite traditions.

Since the boys came home, we've been giving them ornaments each year too. We have some really fantastic ones that represent their Korean heritage, as well as a reminder of things they are interested at this specific age. Throughout the year we keep our eyes open for things that can be used as ornaments, writing the boys names and dates on them.

This year's special ornament was ordered from Etsy seller Geraldandkellyhong. It's a beautiful porcelain design in a light green glaze. It reads "family" and commemorates Little Brother's homecoming this year.

Another adoptive mama (Hi Yvonne!) was recently searching out sources for Korean-themed ornaments. They are hard to come by! So I thought I'd do a round-up of all the different adoption/Korean Christmas ornaments that I've been able to dig up.

We haven't ordered from most of these retailers, so I cannot speak about quality. But if you try them out or have favorite retailers of your own, please comment!

I LOVE these tag ornaments from EthiopiaDad. They are made from laser-cut wood and priced reasonably. He's taking pre-orders so if you like them, you should hop to it! There are also Korea-specific ornaments, but I really love this one. There's ornaments for plenty of other countries too such as China, Africa, and Guatemala.  http://www.ethiopiadad.com/collections/405960-korea-ornaments

Bronner's Christmas Wonderland in Michigan carries this blown glass South Korean flag.
http://www.bronners.com/product/korean-flag-glass-ornament.do

Etsy has a great selection of hand-crafted decorations. Try a variety of searches such as 'hangul' or 'korea christmas', 'korean ornament', etc. I LOVE these porcelain ornaments made by seller geraldandkellyhong. This one says 'family'. https://www.etsy.com/listing/170789641/korean-family-ceramic-ornament?ref=related-0

There's a waiting list for this adorable nativity scene made from Etsy seller mysakuraprincess.
I'm guessing you won't have it for this holiday but maybe get your order in for next year? There are other selections such as the three wise men. https://www.etsy.com/listing/167812432/korean-nativity-set-hand-painted-6?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=ConnectedShop&utm_campaign=Share

Seller rusticcraftdesign has these wooden ornaments which say 'I love you' on the front and can be personalized with a name or date on the back. https://www.etsy.com/listing/120351718/korean-i-love-you-with-heart-rustic-wood?ref=sr_gallery_20&ga_search_query=korea+ornament&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

This little polyresin ornament features a girl in Hanbok. There is also a version with angel wings. http://www.afk.com/catalog/Detail.tpl?command=search&db=afkstore.db&eqSKUdata=ORN302W&cart=1415745177192566

This ornament features a girl in Hanbok, made out of resin. Sold at Mandy's Moon.
http://www.mandysmoon.com/store/korean-girl-christmas-ornament

These miniature Korean drums aren't necessarily Christmas tree ornaments, but they would look great on our tree! http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Korea-Drum-crafts-macrobian-drum-4-h-p01622/919551590.html

Adoptiongiftsonline.com has a few ornaments tucked into their selection. You have to dig through and they look like they are printed on ceramic by Zazzle. http://adoptiongiftsonline.com/korea-adoption-gifts/

Zazzle has a huge selection as well and they are fully customizable. They are printed metal but look to be a bit more ornate, depending on the design. http://www.zazzle.com.au/korean+ornaments

CafePress has a huge selection. They are flat aluminum ornaments with a printed design. http://www.cafepress.com/+korea+ornaments

Don't forget to check Amazon and Ebay! I found this hand-painted Korean fan dancer on Amazon! 

Korean Fan Dancer Hand-painted Glass Ball Ornament

And, one last thought. You can trim your tree with home-made ornaments! Here's a few ideas:

Knotting is a very popular artform in Korea. Here are instructions for a good luck knot. http://doitandhow.com/2013/06/21/good-luck-knot/

Or you could have the kids make a Sam Taeguk fan. This would also be pretty cute made out of salt dough clay! http://www.incultureparent.com/2011/04/korean-craft-make-a-traditional-sam-taeguk-fan/

These beautiful paper lotus lamps are typically used to celebrate Buddha's Birthday, but they would look fantastic on a tree! The center of the flower has a paper cup to hold the traditional candle, but you could cut a small hole and push a tree light through there for the same effect. http://www.incultureparent.com/2012/05/lotus-lanterns-for-wesak-buddha-day/

Things change

Hey there. Remember me?

I'm the dimwit who wrote a season-ending giant cliffhanger a few months ago, saying things were going to change.

And then I never returned. So let me catch you up.

First there was this:

And this:

And then all of this.

See? BIG!!

The Cheesecurds are no longer in the Land of Cheese! We are now, hell, I have no idea what they call folks here. Doesn't matter though...we are still Cheesecurds. We just live in the City of Roses now. Portland, to be exact.

You might be saying "holy hell, I can't believe they picked up and moved!" and that's my thoughts exactly as I drive around our new city. It was a decision a long time in the making, though when the gears starting turning it happened incredibly fast.

The Man and I were both born and raised in the northwest. After marrying, we knew we wanted to settle down in the northwest as well, but not before we ventured out and explored other parts of the country. We lived five years in California, six years in northern Wisconsin, and nine years in southeast Wisconsin.

We loved it there. Had a great house. Amazing friends. Good jobs. We lived in the best school district and a fantastic neighborhood. We were definitely setting deep roots but still felt unsettled because we couldn't say no to the idea of returning to the northwest once again. There was the weight of the "should we or shouldn't we" question hanging over every thing we did.

The past few years we've had so many losses in our family and we were feeling the pull to return even harder. A great job opportunity coincidently opened up for The Man when we were visiting the northwest for my sister's memorial, so a few quick job interviews, and wham, next thing we knew we were moving!

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Though it was something we had talked about for years, we were completely unprepared to actually move. And, because I suck at change, The Man basically had to drag me kicking and screaming.

I got focused on all the negatives of leaving Wisconsin. It meant giving up a career that I had dedicated myself to for the past 15 years for...no job in sight. The odds of both of us lining up jobs at the same time were close to none. We opted to go for the higher wage and follow The Man's job. But that meant walking away from a very good journalism job at a time when the number of journalism jobs have been falling faster than apples in October. This move could mean that I've walked away from journalism. I was heartsick.

It also meant leaving a network of amazing friends. Seriously amazing. There are our besties---for 15 years we have hung out, grown our families together, and watched our children become friends. I know we'll stay friends for life, but it will be darned hard not to call them on Friday at 4:30 and say, want to meet at the park in 1/2 hour for a beer?

And then we were lucky enough to make some new friends, brought together through adoption and parenting. You know how hard it is to find a couple where all four of you just click? We had that. (Sniff.)

And not at the end of the list are countless people (GB! MLS!) that were an integral part of our lives and we miss every day!

Of course, another huge concern was the boys. Little Brother was just settling in. Finally sleeping through the night (mostly) in his own room. He had only been home 4 months when we started packing up for the move. And Little Man handles change as well as I do. To say he was out of control would be putting it nicely.

We all struggled.

Into the fray came my mom. Poor thing. Two weeks before we moved she came out to help. (THANK YOU MOM!!)  I realized that there was no way we were going to be able to get out in time. The Man and I were completely exhausted. We had been packing between 8 p.m. (after boys went to bed) and midnight, and there was just no more juice in our tanks. My mom came in full of energy, and when she wasn't chasing our very busy, very emotional kids, she was packing boxes. And she did it while I acted bitchy and whiny the whole time. She was a champ.

Somehow, and I really don't know how, we got through it.

The house sold. (Four days!?!?!) The moving company was great. The Man drove out to Oregon with the dog, two cats and an aquatic frog. Without incident. Mom and I flew out with the kids. And our temporary digs (until we find a place to buy) are OK, which was a concern since we took the place sight unseen.

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It's been three whole weeks now. We are living in a sea of boxes which our children think is fun---built in climbing gyms throughout the house!! I'm working on job possibilities. Pre-school possibilities. Figuring out the area.

I'm past thinking we've messed up everything. I think we did the right thing for our family in the long run though it truly was one of the toughest things I've had to do.

It's all a new adventure. But boy, do I miss home.

Three years a family!

Starting our life together. 5/10/2011

(This is a catch-up post. Our family day with Little Man was May 10. I'm only a few months late which is pretty good for me lately!)

*****

Family. Before Little Man came that word only referred to The Man, myself, Gus the wonder dog and our kitties.

But now it's much more. Three years ago our definition of family was revolutionized when a quiet boy was placed in my arms, sitting stiffly in my lap during our taxi ride away from the adoption agency.

I think back to that baby---that stranger who I called my child. I remember how he behaved then, small indicators of his amazing personality that would soon be revealed to us.

How he clung to a bottle and shyly shared his first laugh with us. An open mouthed belly laugh.  It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

I remember the guarded look in his eyes. And how he didn't cry. How he kept his feelings bottled inside.

How he babbled and sang when alone in his crib.

And how he watched everything we did very carefully. And then tried to repeat on his own, getting frustrated when he couldn't get the exact same results. He'd try again and again, the absolute definition of determination.

He's still all these things. And of course, so much more. He's a child of extremes and intense emotion. Whatever he's feeling is all consuming for him, (and for those around him as well). He's incredibly physically gifted and one of the most agile children I've seen. He's smart. Sassy (which isn't always a plus). Courageous. Compassionate. Observant. A challenge. A mystery.

He is the leader on this great parenting adventure. Of course, we are the adults, but he is the leader. We follow him through it's twists and turns. Try to figure out how to help him stay on the path. He is forgiving of our mistakes and missteps.

From him we learn more about ourselves---how we react when pushed to our limits; how we need to find more self control; to realize that we really have no control at all; to figure out how to love something and let it go at the same time.

He's a tiny dynamo who inspires me to be a better person, shocks me with his joy for new things, and awes me with his ability to express his emotion completely. He's likely to be my life's greatest challenge and he's definitely my life's greatest adventure.

I can't believe it's only been three years together. And I'm thankful that we are family.

What to say (or not to say) to an adoptive family

What do boob jobs and adoption have in common?

THIS AWESOME VIDEO. I love it. A lot.

Please watch. Repeat. Share.

A few things to check out

I'd love to sit down and write out a nice long post. But the entire household is asleep (including the dog) and I'm savoring this little bit of quiet time!

Wanted to share these adoption related things that I've run across. Thought some of you might find them interesting.

Adoptionland: From Orphans to Activists
This Kindle e-book is available right now on Amazon for free. It's normally $9.99. I'm an Amazon Prime member so I'm not sure if it's free to everyone right now, or how long this will be available.

Ever wondered what it’s like to be adopted? This anthology begins with personal accounts and then shifts to a bird’s eye view on adoption from domestic, intercountry and transracial adoptees who are now adoptee rights activists. Along with adopted people, this collection also includes the voices of mothers and a father from the Baby Scoop Era, a modern-day mother who almost lost her child to adoption, and ends with the experience of an adoption investigator from Against Child Trafficking. These stories are usually abandoned by the very industry that professes to work for the “best interest of children,” “child protection,” and for families. However, according to adopted people who were scattered across nations as children, these represent typical human rights issues that have been ignored for too long. For many years, adopted people have just dealt with such matters alone, not knowing that all of us—as a community—have a great deal in common. 

I read through a bit of it. It's likely going to be uncomfortable reading for many adoptive parents as many contributors to the book do not have a favorable view of adoption. However, I do believe their concerns are important to hear and understand, and in many cases completely valid.

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Finding Seoul - Trailer from John Sanvidge on Vimeo.

"Finding Seoul" was released recently. Prices are reduced this weekend, with a "rental" at $2.99, and purchase/download of the video for $7.99. Here's how the movie is described on the Finding Seoul website:

Finding Seoul follows one individual as he attempts to find his birth parents. John Sanvidge was raised in upstate New York and brought up in an Irish and Italian household with his two siblings, who are also adopted. During his journey, he visits with his adoptive family to help them understand why he’s made the decision to look now and travels to Seoul, South Korea all in an attempt to reconnect with a world he doesn't understand.

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We are loving these Korean-English books we found on Amazon! They have a ton of different varieties like sports, jobs, numbers, vegetables, etc. Super fun for us all to read and learn with!

The quantities are limited right now, but they say they will restock soon.

Here's a link to the search.



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For Milwaukee area adoptive families, you might want to check out these classes at UW-Milwaukee this summer! Korean language and culture classes for 6-8th graders and 9-12th grade students.

http://www4.uwm.edu/sce/course.cfm?id=28217



Happy weekend!!

Our Korean Adventure: Traveling in Korea, adoption and other random tidbits

The fourth and final installment catching you up on our first trip to Korea. Figured I'd better get all this in before we our off for our second trip.

We had some awesome experiences that brought Korea nearer and dearer to our hearts. Our Korean school teacher here in Wisconsin had arranged for a dinner for us. SJ is from Seoul and she said a friend of hers would like to make dinner for us. It was sort of awkward for us because we weren't really sure we wanted to commit to spending time with complete strangers. But she really wanted to do this for us, and so we agreed.

Mr. Kang's restaurant was really lovely. It specialized in fusion Japanese-Korean cuisine, mainly seafood. The seating and style is very traditional Korean with floor seating and ondol heating. He was waiting outside when we arrived by taxi and it was only about 5 minutes from our hotel. He gave us a very nice tour, but his English is very rough. We mostly communicated with one or two words and a lot of smiles. The restaurant was closed and he opened it up just for us!

Then SJ's two sisters arrived to join us for the meal, and they had their teen daughters with them. Little Man was starting to feel some of the travel strain so he was a bit of a handful but really, the dinner was one of the highlights of our trip!

The meal was about 5 courses (the food just kept coming!) and because we are vegetarian, he had two different meals---one for our family and food for the other families. One of the sisters spoke pretty good English, and our Korean teacher SJ was translating from Milwaukee via text.

One thing we kept coming back to again and again is the extreme kindness of Koreans. I know we might be biased, but it's just so amazing to us how generous and kind they are. One example is in the subway---it's an amazing system and really easy to use, but our first time back to the subway we were studying the map and trying to remember how to get around. A man saw we looked confused as we were buying our trip ticket. He asked if he could help and consulted the map with us to figure out where we needed to go. He watched as we bought our tickets and then waved us to follow him through the gates and onto the subway. We thought, how nice, he's going the same direction we are.

When we arrived at our stop (about 3 stops down) he popped up and waved at us to follow him out. I thought, wow, he was going the same direction we were! We followed him out of the turnstiles, he watched as we returned our subway card for a refund, and then he pointed to our exit. He waved good-bye and turned back to buy a new subway ticket before running back to the loading ramp. He went so far out of his way for strangers!!

This happened again and again. When we might look lost or in need of help, someone came and offered it. We were so grateful.

Finally, one of the best parts of this trip was meeting other adoptive families. There's something really powerful about being on a similar track together and it builds and instant camaraderie. One of the greatest joys for us was connecting with a family from California. Mama T. reached out to us via our blog and so happy she did! Our families have so much in common! The California family was also returning to Korea for their second child and their first child is Little Man's age. Through the weeks of preparing for travel we were tearing up the email lines, comparing lists of things we were bringing, what we were wearing and trying to figure out logistics like phone and internet service.

Meeting them in person was wonderful and the boys got on well. Little Man was bossy and emotional but their California-cool even-keeled boy took it all in stride. Watching the boys play helped me relax a bit and gave Little Man something to look forward to. It was a great friendship condensed into a few days and I have a good feeling that we'll be in touch for a long time to come.

One particularly great memory will be after the stress of our court date. Following court, we joined the California family to celebrate (and make good on a bribe for the boys to be good in court) with ice cream. As we headed to ice cream shop, we ran into another family we met in court (NY family), so they joined us too. We had the shop to ourselves for quite a while and the boys ran wild. We huddled in a corner and talked openly and candidly about our adoptions, thoughts, hopes and fears. (The NY family has since been united with their son and doing great! Yay!!) I just love how we can come from all corners of the country, all different backgrounds and experiences, and yet, hanging out with them was so easy and natural.

We also met the families of two women I have met through my Facebook support group who were traveling at the same time! In that group, we cheer for one another at each tiny step of the way. When the three of us found out that we'd be traveling at the same time, we were able to compare information, figure out hotels, and figure out the logistics of our trip together. What a help! One super sweet family even met us at the bus stop to guide us to our hotel and help carry luggage. Incredibly awesome! And, since we'll all be bringing kids home at the same time, I know that we'll be able to continue to support one another as we work through the transitions together.