Cheese Curds and Kimchi

Katie-Bo: An Adoption Story by Iris L. Fisher

This story is about a family with biological children who are adopting a child from Korea. The story
is told in the voice of a young child as they experience the adoption process, from beginning to end.

I think this book is a good basic introduction about adoption. It would be particularly helpful for families who have biological children first, and are expanding their family through adoption. Because of the detail about the entire process, it might also be of interest to adoptees to better understand more about their adoption story.

The story begins with the fact that having a baby through adoption means mom's tummy won't grow, and explains, in a way that kids can understand, about what adoption means.

Here's a sample:

"Of course, our baby is growing in a mommy's tummy but not our mommy's tummy. Dad says that some women who love their babies very much can't always take care of them. Our Mom says that it's because the lady loves her baby so much that she goes to an adoption agency. That's a place where special people called social workers look for a happy family like ours to love and care for the baby sister."

I bristled at the "...lady loves her baby" line (because I don't believe you should sugar coat things that you don't know whether are true or not when it comes to the facts about your child's adoption) but I can forgive that small detail---I think it gives you an opportunity to discuss the many possible reasons that people choose relinquishment.

The book also details the family's experiences with the social worker, racial differences between caucasian and asians, and different cultural aspects (such as eating with chopsticks), all in simple ways that kids would understand.

I thought one of the most interesting things in the book was how it addressed some of the feelings that the other children might have, such as sensing their parent's stress and feeling threatened by the new baby that is about to come into the home. It also does a great job of getting children excited about welcoming a new sibling through adoption and embracing that the unknown of having a sibling arrive in this manner can be a bit scary for them.

The only part of the book that I didn't enjoy were the illustrations. I just didn't like the illustrative style (looks like paper cut outs) and didn't feel it was engaging for children.

A few of the concepts were above Little Man's age now (2 1/2), but they were brief enough that he didn't get bored and lose interest. Those same "big picture" concepts would be of interest to older kids, so this book would work for a broader array of ages, from maybe 4-7.

It's not a book that we'll be adding to our collection, but it's worth checking out from the library.

We adopted you, Benjamin Koo by Linda Walvoord Girard

Wow. I love this book! It got everything just right. We are definitely adding it to our collection!

The story is told by a nine-year-old Korean adoptee named Benjamin. He talks about a lot of the aspects of adoption that are challenging for adopted kids such as not knowing why you were placed for adoption, what your birth family was like, and trying to figure out how you fit in to your new family. It also acknowledges issues specific to IA kids such as looking different than your family, integrating birth country culture/rituals, and being teased about your appearance.

The story is direct and straightforward. It's written simply and in a language that kids will connect to. It provides a lot of great topics for parents to discuss with kids, and ways that kids can learn to handle big feelings. Here's an example:

"I began to feel angry because other kids knew their biological families, and I never would. One time, when my mom made me obey a rule, I got mad. "I'm leaving!" I shouted. "I'm going back to Korea! I'll find my real mother, and she'll be nice to me!"

My mom stayed calm. "You have a real mom, and that's me," she said. "I know you're upset, but you have to mind my rules."

I started to run away. I really did. Then I realized I'd get to the end of the sidewalk, and I wouldn't know which way Korea was!

That night Dad hugged me and said he was glad I had decided to stay. But I still felt like I was on the sidewalk, not sure where to turn."

Another great example shows how the book can help kids deal with the outside world. I thought this part of the book would be super helpful in the future, although it's really heartbreaking to think that Little Man will be teased like this one day. I sort of hate introducing kids to the idea of racial slurs though. But realistically, I know a situation like this will probably happen and this story helps us prepare him to handle it:

"I do have one problem. It's the kids at school. Fourth grade can be tough. A few kids call me "Chink" when they tease. Some people don't want to know anything about me. They just think I'm from Afghanistan or Hawaii or Timbuktu.

"I don't like him," I heard a girl say. "He's Japanese."

"Yeah, but watch out---he probably knows karate," said the other kid.

I don't know karate, and I'm not Japanese. It hurts when kids tease me or talk about me like I"m an alien from the moon.

I can answer the teasers with a fact: I'm an American. Or else I can be friendly and say, "I was born in Korea. Where were you born?" Sometimes my best bet is to ignore people when they're being mean. And I've learned to concentrate on my good friends, the kids who like me the way I am."

As for the illustrations, they are fine. Appropriate for the older audience which is exactly who this book is directed at.

Right now, this book is WAY over Little Man's age, 2 1/2. But I think maybe about 4-5 years old he'll be at the right age to start reading it, even if he doesn't fully understand everything in it.