Travel Requirements for Korean adoptions: The Latest Sad News

Snow Day.

We're at home today because of the snow. Which is good. Because I couldn't sleep a bit last night. And I keep crying.

The latest news from the Korea adoption from broke on the MPAK blog last night. Read the post HERE. For many families who are waiting, this news will end their journey to adopt from Korea. To summarize, the blog says that families will have an appearance in Korean courts, where both adoptive parents must be present. Once the judge determines if the suitability of the parents, then there will be a 14-day waiting period during which the birth mother can end the process if she chooses to parent. If the birth mother does not come forward, then the adoption can continue.

If it's true, it's devastating. The author of the blog has been staying on top of the changing rules and processes since the new law went into effect last year. It's' probably an accurate summary of the situation as it currently exists, or at least fairly close.

So, obviously this is a huge change in the process but as an AP, the birth mother provision is the scariest part. Keep in mind, that the birth mothers already waited out the 7-days after birth before being allowed to consent to adoption, and had another five-month waiting period in before children are eligible for international adoption. By the time the courts see the cases, these children are already 1-1 1/2 years old. While I'm all for giving the birth mothers ample time to change their minds (after all this is a HUGE decision), couldn't the waiting period be completed before the adoptive parents have went through all the hoops and expenses, are in Korea and are about to bring home their baby?

There are many families left on the 2012 quota who are awaiting travel. They have been on hold several months as the courts reviewed documents and became familiar with adoption procedures. Now these same families are facing extra thousands of dollars in expenses at the last minute as they are told they must extend their stay in country from a week to 3-4. And the fact that both parents must now appear in court...another unexpected challenge for some.

That aside, I'm most concerned by the added strain on children, both for the child to be adopted and other children in the adoptive family. The extra court processes and waiting times will likely mean that the children who are being adopted will be coming home much older. That is harder on the children since they have spent more time in their foster families. Plus the extra weeks families must stay in Korea may affect the amount of time they will have once they return stateside, to bond and help their child adjust to their new home before the parents must return to work.

For children already in the family, they face being without both parents for 3-4 weeks. Obviously a huge obstacle and could make the initial relationship with a new sibling much more challenging. If they travel to Korea with their parents, it's a long journey, weeks away from the comfort of home. If the children are school aged, that may not even be a possibility. And what about for special needs families?

The international adoption program helps provide homes to many Korean children who were not adopted domestically. If the number of IA goes down due to this extreme new set of rules, where will these children go? The domestic adoption numbers have not increased enough to provide homes for them. They are in foster homes now as they await IA, but those are not forever homes. And each agency only has so many foster homes. So, if these children are not adopted will they will be moved into orphanages?

It's always a delicate balancing act to protect the rights of the birth parents. But what about the rights of these children to be able to have a forever home quickly?

The first 2012 cases are scheduled to move into the Korean court systems in April. I hope this latest MPAK post isn't true, or at the very least, the rules are not set in stone. Just hate to see the system end up punishing children and the families who desperately want to provide for them.

And of course, the most important thing is to remember that this is just all conjecture at this point. Not a single agency (that I can find) has reported any of this information to their clients. Until we hear it from them, it's not official.

Learning Korean at LP's Korean Language Learning

Another language site for you Korean language buffs. I'm feeling better about my lack of knowledge by passing on these sites to you. Hopefully one day I'll be using them myself!

This site is Learn Korean: LP's Korean Language Learning. This site is pretty basic, but what's nice is there are audio clips to play which help guide you through the lesson. It's also very organized and has some great language guides.

My favorite part of the site though, is the music section titled "learn Korean with music". There are several videos (which play on the page) and have lyrics/concepts in the song broken out with definitions translations. The author's theory is to see if hearing the music helps learners develop listening skills. Great idea!

What do you think?

Endless adoption paperwork: COC, G-884 and G-639

Adoption is many things, including boatloads of paperwork. Of course, the bulk of it was done in the home study phase, and then again at the referral phase, but the paperwork doesn't stop once the little squirts arrive. We have a giant expandable file that resembles George's wallet on Seinfeld. We can't close it anymore and it's bursting at the seams.

A year and a half since Little Man came home, we are still chasing the final bits of the paperwork. Here's the things still on the list (and links for others who are doing the same stuff):

Certificate of Citizenship (COC): Little Man became a legal citizen when we completed our adoption, six-months after he arrived in the US. For US born folks, a birth certificate is proof of citizenship. But since Little Man's birth certificate shows his birthplace in South Korea, his bc isn't proof. So, we have to file for his COC to help him prove his citizenship, necessary to get a passport, work in government, etc. We finally got our COC shipped out a few weeks ago. 24-more pages of stuff to file!

Amended Birth Certificate: In Wisconsin, we can reapply for a state amended birth certificate which will have Little Man's citizenship status included on the certificate.

***

There are a few additional filings that we will be doing once we have our COC. These aren't required in any way at all, but I think it's important to try and get ahold of everything pertaining to Little Man's adoption/process. He might want this information in the future, and you never know what tidbits might be included in these requests.

G-884: When we traveled home with Little Man from Korea, we were handed a giant sealed envelope that we handed over at immigration at the airport? I was dying to read through it all, but we couldn't break the seal. Now I can finally satisfy my curiosity. With the G-884 you can get those original documents! I'm excited to see if there is anything that we didn't have in our files already. Many APs have found things in there such as photos of birth parents, visa applications/photos and original health records. You should have completed the COC before you file the G-884.

As with all these forms, they can be confusing. Here's some tips I've picked up (which are untested by me, as of yet):

• under the 'information about you' heading, put your information
• in the 'data for identification on personal record' put your child's information
• under type of entry, put 'immigration'
• port of entry is the city where you went through customs
• specifically ask for "all records and photos pertaining to the adoption of XXX" 
• the form has to be notarized before you send it to USCIS
• send it to the office that processed the COC (be sure to keep the envelope that the COC came in!

(Like all things adoption-paperwork related, you'll find conflicting information. The Legal-Eaze site states "...you should first wait until the documents are transferred to the local USCIS processing center (usually takes about 6 months from the date of immigration).  Then complete Form G-884 (Return of Original Documents and instructions) and mail it to your local USCIS Office." So, not sure if that means 6-months from the date they entered the country, or 6-months from the date of the COC. Argh...so confusing! If anyone knows the answer to this riddle, please chime in. We are erring on the side of doing the form after the COC returns.)


G-639 (Freedom of Information Act): Out of all of the paperwork we are filing, this will be it (as far as I know) and it's the one I'm most excited about. From the few people I've heard of who have completed this, it has been a treasure trove of paperwork. But believe me, I'm getting really tired of filing paperwork and it's exponentially more difficult now with a two-year old to chase around. Seems like the pile of paperwork sits on my desk for a very long time before I actually get it done. But again, this is about amassing every detail I can for Little Man, so it's really all worth it.

I do know that this one must be filed last, after the G-884.

How's your paper chasing going??


****UPDATE: For results of our G-884 filing, read this post: http://curdsandkimchi.blogspot.com/2013/08/g-884-ongoing-adoption-paperwork.html


USCIS Adoption Forms link: http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.eb1d4c2a3e5b9ac89243c6a7543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=c88fd1eb6dc43210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD&vgnextchannel=c88fd1eb6dc43210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD#

Post Adoption Paperwork (Adoptive Families Magazine): http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PostAdoptPaperwork.pdf

Legal-Eaze: Awesome site with helpful information (written in plain language) on filing citizenship, and showing completed G-884,


 

Learn to speak Korean at Korean Class

Just stumbled across a Korean language site that might be helpful for those of you studying!

I haven't really picked up much any Korean at all. I learned most of my Spanish from books and self-study, but I don't seem to be able to do the same with the Korean language. But to be honest, I haven't sat down and really put a ton of time into it.

I know a few handful of words/phrases that we learned before Little Man came home, and since then just added some words learned by listening to Little Man's Korean baby books. (You know those kind of books where you push the button to hear the word for pig, cow, etc?) But the words on his book are sort of obscure...I doubting there will be much of a need to say things like 'rainbow' or 'butterfly' in everyday conversation.

Any tips on learning Korean out there?

Here's the site. Let me know if anyone finds it helpful!

http://koreangirlinsg.com/category/korean-class-everyday-korean

Just another freak out

If you are a parent of a toddler or have a toddler in your life or ever had a toddler, you MUST go read this awesome post:

46 Reasons Why My Three Year Old Might Be Freaking Out

There. That should have started your day off with a smile. And give you insight into what goes on in our house. :)

How to play Gonggi: A Korean board game

Wish I had found this great series on Korean board games last week! At The Korea Blog, the blogger is highlighting different Korean board games including gonggi which is a popular game to play for the New Year celebration.

Here's the short video he did showing how to play the game. Check out the links section below to go to the full blog post with the rules. There's also a link for Yut Nori, another popular New Years game. Can't wait to see what the next posts will be on!



If you think this looks like fun (I do!) then your next logical question would be, where can I find the gonggi game here in the US? I haven't checked out H-Mart, but Little Seouls does carry the game pieces and you can get them by checking out the links below.



LINKS:
Korean Games: Gonggi
Korean Games: Yut Nori
Little Seouls Glitter Gonggi Game

Happy Korean Lunar New Year! 2013 Year of the Snake

Happy Lunar New Year! Welcome Year of the Snake! I'm a day late on this post. Had it all ready to go, but hey, we were celebrating and I forgot to put it up! (The video really tells you lots of great details about Seollal, so be sure to watch.)

This is Year of the Snake. Snakes don't really have a great connotation for most folks, but in this context, they are associated with long life, fortune and safety. Perhaps it's because of the snake's ability to renew itself by shedding it's skin, that snake years are said to bring fertility, renewal and prosperity.

We could totally do with some renewal and prosperity around here. Bring it on, Snake!

Like many of the Korean holidays, this one centers around family and food. We celebrated with our adoption family, FTKA, a few weeks ago at their annual New Years event. It featured singing, Tae Kwon Do exhibitions, awesome traditional food, and of course, friends. Hard to believe we've been with this group for three years now! It was also a time to celebrate and meet several children who have just come home, and support others who are still waiting.

As for our home celebration, I had to work on Sunday so we didn't get crazy with things. But we did whip up some Jap Chae, spend lots of time together, and even taught Little Man to 'sebae', or do a formal bow. We gave him some small change (New Years money) as is the tradition. Maybe next year he'll really understand what's going on? Here's a good site to learn the male/female ways of performing a sebae.

Overall, I think we can do more for this holiday. I feel like we aren't really incorporating as much Korean heritage as I'd like to. I have to be honest that at this point it's a big challenge for us, but hopefully we can keep working at it to continue and build more of our own traditions for the future. Ideas for next year might be getting up early to watch the sun rise together (although this really doesn't appeal to me at all because he's usually up so darned early anyway), having a nice big breakfast together (more likely to happen) and playing a few of the traditional games (totally do-able).

Things around here

I know it's been quiet here. To be honest, 2013 has a lot of improving to do.

We started New Years day with a houseful of ick. This, following our Christmas sickfest, where Grandma, Daddy and Little Man were all under the weather. So, for new Years, we had a new round of fun, as LM had a sinus/ear infection.

Followed by The Man's upper respiratory infection.

Then, came the news that Great-Grammie's health was rapidly declining for unknown reasons.

And add in one other death in the family.

As I said, 2013 isn't off to a great start.

We quickly scheduled a trip out to see Great-Grammie, which was wonderful and emotional. We have so much fun being with family, even when it's under difficult situations. Grammie seemed to enjoy watching Little Man run about, and Little Man loved to give her giant hugs and share her snacks. It about broke my damned heart watching that, but I was happy that we were there, all the same.

The visit wasn't long enough of course. The Man could only stay a few days, and Little Man and I stayed a bit longer. I was a bit nervous about a full day of travel without a second set of hands, but Little Man was a champ and did great. It was good to be home, but so hard to be away from family again.

I miss seeing LM scream excitedly when he sees Papa. Or the wonder on his face as he watches Grandma sew. Or seeing those sweet moments when he reads books with Grandma G. Or watching him run up to Grammie's chair and sweet talk her out of a pretzel.

Spending time with cousins and screaming and running until you collapse on the floor. Taking him places that I went when I was a kid. Showing him the school that his daddy and I went to.


As my great-grandma said, the older you get the faster time goes.

Sigh. So right.