The adoption roller coaster

Flickr photo by Tiffa Day

The anticipation. Lurching forward. Twists! Turns! Jerking to a stop.

A crazy, thrilling, wild roller coaster ride.

That's exactly what our second adoption process feels like. Guess that's karma---our first one was soooo easy.

After ending last week on a super high note following our EP submission, this week's MPAK post states that the Korean Ministry will be moving their offices soon, and undergoing some staffing changes. If past performances are an indicator, that means a slow down in EP approval. Which means a likely delay on our EP approval.

Ugh.

And now, there is the threat of the government shut down on the U.S. side. If that happens, non-essential government work, including adoption processes which rely on federal paperwork, would cease. We are still awaiting our i600 approval so this is quite concerning.

Double ugh.

For me, the wait to become a family of four is exponentially harder after getting a referral. Looking at Dongsaeng's (Little brother) face every day, wondering what he's doing, what things he's learning...it's just tough.

I'm ready for the roller coaster to end. But I know we have a ways to go. We are in the thick of it now, so I'm giving myself space to acknowledge that it's tough. That it's painful.

This is part of our journey to Dongsaeng.

Like being on that roller coaster, if you start getting sick on the ride, you can try to focus on a fixed point to get you through. I need to focus on the long-term outcome. To stay strong and positive.

Here's what we've been doing to work through the wait:

First, we are concentrating on learning Korean. Because Dongsaeng will probably be 15-17 months old when he comes home, the language gap will be much bigger than when Little Man came home. (More on this in another post.)

Second, make some room! We live in a small home, but it has a big basement. The basement currently looks like a scene out of Hoarders (maybe not quite that bad) so we've been busy listing things on Craigslist and moving them out. More room, more cash. Win, win!! And it would be great to have a giant play area for the boys this winter.

Third, we are concentrating on Little Man and enjoying the last few months of our lives as a family of three. Little Man has made some giant steps these past few months (potty training, big boy bed) and we want to help him continue to find security and confidence. We know things are going to get a bit crazy for a while after Dongsaeng comes home, so we want to try and keep things on a nice even keel for now.

*****

As I write this, things have changed yet again. Two days after it was announced that the Ministry was moving and they would be having a staffing change, the move was pushed back until December. Hopefully that means our EP will be able to clear the Ministry before the move (fingers crossed).

And, in this LA Times story: "At the Department of Homeland Security, which includes....Immigration and Customs Enforcement, most of the 231,117 workers would remain on the job. Officials said 31,295 would be furloughed." Hopefully the workers we need to approve our i600 are in the group remaining on the job.

It's very easy to get anxious about each twist and turn that comes along. I keep reminding myself not to worry about what ifs, and to take things as they happen.

Because roller coasters are fun and all, but at some point, you just want to be on solid ground.