I look over at the tiny daredevil in red monkey pajamas. He's standing on top of his rocking horse, holding onto the handle casually, with one hand. The other hand is waving high above his head, calling attention to himself as he flashes me a big grin. He's so proud of himself.
I stifle a panicked reaction to shout "Oh my god, you are going to break your neck. Do you have any idea how hurt you could get doing that? You need to sit down right now!"
Instead, I calmly remind him that rocking horses are for sitting, and can he please sit down. To reveal how nervous this little trick makes me would ensure that he repeats it often.
This reminds me of the stories The Man and his brother recount of their youth. Of riding motorcycles through the grape vineyards. Of jumping their BMX bikes over a fire pit--with a fire going! Shooting one another with BB guns. Or trying out new jumps on their bike track in their back yard.
They laugh as they remember the sound of their mother's sharp squeals, or the hiss of her sudden intake of breath, as she watched her two daredevils attempt their latest Evel Knievel inspired stunt.
And now, with a daredevil of my own, I wonder how often I'll be the one squealing.
Something tells me it's going to be often.
**************************
To help express big feelings: Helping Kids Express Anger
To take your breath away: A dying man's race to adopt, and a small miracle (via Adoption Talk)
To imagine: Rocket ship diorama (a free printable)
To learn: The human body visualized--facts you may not know about your own body
To discipline and reward: "Uh Oh" and "Well Done" discipline jars
To make and eat: Fold your own microwave popcorn bags from paper sacks
9.30.2011
9.29.2011
Book Club Monday: 20 Things...Chapters 19 & 20!
(For more info on the book we are reading, click HERE. All passages that are quoted are from Sherrie Eldridge's book, 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed. Here are links to our previous discussions: Chapter 1; Chapters 2 & 3; Chapters 4 & 5, Chapters 6-9, Chapters 10-12, Chapters 13-15, Chapters 16-18).
Sorry for the late post. This week has totally sucked. Can it be over? Monday was Gracie's funeral. (Here's a link to the memorial video, but you might do the ugly cry when you watch it.) Tuesday they laid people off at work. I still have a job but a co-worker in my department doesn't.
And today was tough too, although not as dramatic as Monday or Tuesday. Little Man starts day care next week. I'm not doing so well with it. Today I finally quit procrastinating and took him in to his class to hang out and get familiar with the teachers. He was clingy for the first few minutes, then ventured away a little bit but kept coming back for hugs. After about 10 minutes, he was running around and would run by or make eye contact frequently.
That felt great! But it bummed me out even more thinking about how much progress we've made and now he's going to be hanging out with these other ladies three days a week.
Soooo....that's why Book Club Monday has been pushed back to Wednesday.
OK...the final scoop on the book. The last two chapters weren't really too insightful for me. Chapter 19 talks about celebrating the miracle of your family and how you conceived this child in your heart, and labored to have this child just like a born-to-you child. Only adoptive labor lasts for years vs. hours.
Umm...surprise?? No. Any AP already knows this.
She did say one thing here though, that I took to heart. A reminder that young children love to hear their birth story, and although we weren't there for the birth, we still have a story. The first thought we had of them. The first time we saw his face. The first time we met. That story is just as powerful as his birth story because it's the birth of our family.
Chapter 20: Press on in hope
"Will you ever see the fruits of your labor?" is a question the author poses. I'm sure it's a question that all parents ask from time to time. The part that is specific to adoption is that seeing the potential in your child, and communicating that to them, will help diminish the feelings of rejection that they feel as they cope with their adoption issues. "Whenever you see potential in me, my feelings of rejectiohn will begin to diminish and I will begin to see myself as you do."
A nice thought. And nice to imagine that anything we might be able to do can help soothe that wound.
Sorry for the late post. This week has totally sucked. Can it be over? Monday was Gracie's funeral. (Here's a link to the memorial video, but you might do the ugly cry when you watch it.) Tuesday they laid people off at work. I still have a job but a co-worker in my department doesn't.
And today was tough too, although not as dramatic as Monday or Tuesday. Little Man starts day care next week. I'm not doing so well with it. Today I finally quit procrastinating and took him in to his class to hang out and get familiar with the teachers. He was clingy for the first few minutes, then ventured away a little bit but kept coming back for hugs. After about 10 minutes, he was running around and would run by or make eye contact frequently.
That felt great! But it bummed me out even more thinking about how much progress we've made and now he's going to be hanging out with these other ladies three days a week.
Soooo....that's why Book Club Monday has been pushed back to Wednesday.
OK...the final scoop on the book. The last two chapters weren't really too insightful for me. Chapter 19 talks about celebrating the miracle of your family and how you conceived this child in your heart, and labored to have this child just like a born-to-you child. Only adoptive labor lasts for years vs. hours.
Umm...surprise?? No. Any AP already knows this.
She did say one thing here though, that I took to heart. A reminder that young children love to hear their birth story, and although we weren't there for the birth, we still have a story. The first thought we had of them. The first time we saw his face. The first time we met. That story is just as powerful as his birth story because it's the birth of our family.
Chapter 20: Press on in hope
"Will you ever see the fruits of your labor?" is a question the author poses. I'm sure it's a question that all parents ask from time to time. The part that is specific to adoption is that seeing the potential in your child, and communicating that to them, will help diminish the feelings of rejection that they feel as they cope with their adoption issues. "Whenever you see potential in me, my feelings of rejectiohn will begin to diminish and I will begin to see myself as you do."
A nice thought. And nice to imagine that anything we might be able to do can help soothe that wound.
9.24.2011
Pool playing priests
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| © Cheese Curds and Kimchi |
I was hanging out at an old Capuchin monastery this week. (The interesting places I get to go for my job!) It was dusty and old and empty. But the rooms had this delicious feeling of life in them. I had no idea what the life of old Capuchin monks would have been like, but it just felt...holy.
In one empty room hung this photo of priests playing pool. It completely cracks me up. It reminds me of this photo of nuns smoking. It strikes me funny to see religious folk enjoying things that everyday people do. I know, they are people, just like us. But somehow I expect them to do other stuff, more *holy* stuff. It's like being a kid and seeing your teacher at the fitness club and realizing that she sweats too.
Mind blowing, right?
Just like priests playing pool.
9.23.2011
Friday Flotsam--09.23.2011
Did you notice??? A gold star to the observant! The words "Friday Round-Up" have long driven me crazy. It's a boring name. And boring names, well, they bore me.
But I never could think of anything more clever. That would involve actual thinking and my brain is way too foggy lately to do that. But today, perhaps it was the extra cup of coffee, the granola snack I just wolfed down, I don't know. But voila! A new name! Drum roll please....I introduce you to Friday Flotsam!
Flotsam, as in, odds and ends.
I'm so entertained by the little things.
***************************
The house is so quiet.
I am suddenly aware of the absence of toys banging, baby babbling, and the background noise that accompanies life with a toddler. LM has finally fallen asleep and I hope (fingers crossed!) nap time will last more than 40 minutes today.
Maybe it's that he's been a bit grumpier than usual, which means he is shoutier (is that even a word??) than usual. Whatever the reason, the quietness is much more apparent today.
Was it really this quiet before Little Man came home?
I fold clothes, watched the fur babies enjoy the sunbeams, and listen to the birds.
Ahhh. Nice.
And then I turn on the stereo.
Because it's way too quiet in here.
****************************
To be awesome: Waking up full of awesome
To get creative with pancakes: Jim's Pancakes
To laugh: Soup for sluts
To craft the world beautiful: The Beltline Knitterati
To create: More Kid Art Recipies & Ideas
To prepare: Back To School!
To contemplate: How To Find Your Core Values And Why You'd Want To
To eat!: Chunka Hunka Chocolove Cookies
To knit (if I ever find time to knit again): Chevron Baby Blanket
But I never could think of anything more clever. That would involve actual thinking and my brain is way too foggy lately to do that. But today, perhaps it was the extra cup of coffee, the granola snack I just wolfed down, I don't know. But voila! A new name! Drum roll please....I introduce you to Friday Flotsam!
Flotsam, as in, odds and ends.
I'm so entertained by the little things.
***************************
The house is so quiet.
I am suddenly aware of the absence of toys banging, baby babbling, and the background noise that accompanies life with a toddler. LM has finally fallen asleep and I hope (fingers crossed!) nap time will last more than 40 minutes today.
Maybe it's that he's been a bit grumpier than usual, which means he is shoutier (is that even a word??) than usual. Whatever the reason, the quietness is much more apparent today.
Was it really this quiet before Little Man came home?
I fold clothes, watched the fur babies enjoy the sunbeams, and listen to the birds.
Ahhh. Nice.
And then I turn on the stereo.
Because it's way too quiet in here.
****************************
To be awesome: Waking up full of awesome
To get creative with pancakes: Jim's Pancakes
To laugh: Soup for sluts
To craft the world beautiful: The Beltline Knitterati
To create: More Kid Art Recipies & Ideas
To prepare: Back To School!
To contemplate: How To Find Your Core Values And Why You'd Want To
To eat!: Chunka Hunka Chocolove Cookies
To knit (if I ever find time to knit again): Chevron Baby Blanket
9.21.2011
Goodbye, Gracie
Some things just don't make any sense.
Today I heard the awful news that Gracie, the 8-year-old daughter of two photojournalist friends, lost her battle with brain cancer. She was diagnosed with a brain glioma in December. She turned 8 in February.
It's a rare type of cancer, and although they treated it as aggressively as they could, the prognosis was poor from the onset. For a while, even though she was receiving radiation and chemo, you would never know she was so sick. She smiled, laughed, danced. She was this effervescent kid that just glowed and made you happy to be around her.
The past month or so, she's declined steadily. She finally had her Make-A-Wish--meeting Katy Perry. She lost the use of one leg and arm, but was still all smiles as she was wheeled around in an umbrella stroller. She had this amazing spirit. A way of making you believe that anything was possible. You wanted to believe that she could beat this thing.
It's become so much tougher to hear stories like this since we brought Little Man home. To imagine this world without him...it's more than I can do. Because Gracie's parents are both amazing documentary photojournalists, her battle with cancer, as her entire life, has been well documented. Through these photos, I saw the slow changes in Gracie. But what really smacked me over the head was the changes in her parents. The fear and grief had etched deep lines in their faces. Their eyes, swollen from nights without sleep and months of tears.
This morning I heard the terrible news that she lost the battle. She passed away with her siblings and parents by her side.
Gracie is gone.
Some things just don't make any sense.
*******************
Here's a link to a recent news piece about Gracie and her family. Please hold them in your thoughts today.
Today I heard the awful news that Gracie, the 8-year-old daughter of two photojournalist friends, lost her battle with brain cancer. She was diagnosed with a brain glioma in December. She turned 8 in February.
It's a rare type of cancer, and although they treated it as aggressively as they could, the prognosis was poor from the onset. For a while, even though she was receiving radiation and chemo, you would never know she was so sick. She smiled, laughed, danced. She was this effervescent kid that just glowed and made you happy to be around her.
The past month or so, she's declined steadily. She finally had her Make-A-Wish--meeting Katy Perry. She lost the use of one leg and arm, but was still all smiles as she was wheeled around in an umbrella stroller. She had this amazing spirit. A way of making you believe that anything was possible. You wanted to believe that she could beat this thing.
It's become so much tougher to hear stories like this since we brought Little Man home. To imagine this world without him...it's more than I can do. Because Gracie's parents are both amazing documentary photojournalists, her battle with cancer, as her entire life, has been well documented. Through these photos, I saw the slow changes in Gracie. But what really smacked me over the head was the changes in her parents. The fear and grief had etched deep lines in their faces. Their eyes, swollen from nights without sleep and months of tears.
This morning I heard the terrible news that she lost the battle. She passed away with her siblings and parents by her side.
Gracie is gone.
Some things just don't make any sense.
*******************
Here's a link to a recent news piece about Gracie and her family. Please hold them in your thoughts today.
9.20.2011
Great adoption support site
Thought I would pass this on for the other adoptive families out there.
I just discovered EMK Press and love the site. It's jam packed with links, books, jewelry, support group, educational materials, and boatloads of other useful things for adoptive families and professionals. A great resource!
I just discovered EMK Press and love the site. It's jam packed with links, books, jewelry, support group, educational materials, and boatloads of other useful things for adoptive families and professionals. A great resource!
9.19.2011
Book Club Monday: 20 Things...chapters 16-18
(For more info on the book we are reading, click HERE. All passages that are quoted are from Sherrie Eldridge's book, 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed. Here are links to our previous discussions: Chapter 1; Chapters 2 & 3; Chapters 4 & 5, Chapters 6-9, Chapters 10-12, Chapters 13-15.)
Yay! Nearing the end of this book! Before I go any further, let's talk about the next book club. I've been reading this awesome book that looks at some shocking statistics that disprove many classic parenting techniques. It's titled NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
. Seriously, it has blown my mind. The first chapter includes some jaw dropping information about---wait for it---how it's actually damaging to tell your child that they are smart! Check out this story on ABC NEWS to get a glimpse about the supportive data on this theory. There are also chapters on teaching children about race, how lack of sleep has been linked to obesity and ADHD in children, and why children lie.
This will be the next book we review on Book Club Monday. I think it will appeal to any parent, not just adoptive parents. It's written in a way that makes sense (no boring science report here!). So check it out, and be ready to discuss the entire book in one month. We'll be chatting about it on Oct. 24!
**********************
Chapter 16: Dealing with perfectionism
Well, if you follow this blog at all, you know I'm a die-hard perfectionist. I've long thought about my need to do things letter-perfect. I'm not sure where it stems from, but I do know that it has often served me well in the past (career wise). However, it also gets in the way of creating forgiving relationships. I am highly sensitive to my failures and weaknesses, and hold myself to a very high standard. And The Man is held to an equally high standard, which is where things get a little sticky.
When you have such a rigid view, you don't allow for the imperfections that are part of human nature. I know this...and yet I get completely nuts when things aren't done exactly as they should be. One one hand, I know that I have over-the-top expectations and can reason that it's really not a big deal that the tupperware be put away just so. I know that I will likely struggle with this where LM is concerned as well.
This chapter brought up a good point--many adoptees struggle with perfectionism as well. They worry that if they aren't perfect, they might disappoint the adoptive parents, or worse, "be sent back". Thinking that I could actually exacerbate a fear like that for LM is certainly a motivation for change.
Chapter 17: Stress
Yep. Lots of stress involved with being a parent. And parents should really try to take care of themselves. Nothing earth shattering in that message.
Chapter 18: Establish a support system
Sometimes I think being an adoptive family is like being on a cruise. (For the record, I've never actually been on a cruise, but this is how I imagine it.)
You are experiencing this amazing thing! The cruise is magnificent. And all the other people on the cruise know exactly what you are experiencing. They understand the beauty of it, the rituals, and the challenges (sea sickness, limited time on shore, frustrations at being herded around like cows.)
When you return to land, you try to describe the journey to others, but they never *really* get it. They nod their head, listening to your stories and trying to understand. They get a general idea about what you experience, but because they weren't there, they can't completely internalize the emotions and memories that you have. It's one of those 'you had to be there' kind of things.
That's what it's like for me on this adoption journey so far. Don't get me wrong---we have had so much support from family and friends while we waited to bring LM home, and definitely afterwards as we struggled with parenting challenges. We are incredibly thankful for that!
But the part where we are trying to understand specific adoption stuff, that's where only people who have been on the cruise really understand. Thank goodness we have made the connections and found support in our adoption community. Through our Families Through Korean Adoption group, Facebook adoption groups, bloggers and message boards, we have been encouraged, given advice, and have shared in triumphs together. And cried together through the tough times. There will be more trials and triumphs as we continue, and I value the input and knowledge of those families who have "been there and done that".
Absolutely, it's imperative to create a support system. Eldridge gives great specifics on how to create a support group in your community. I was pleased to see her give such directed information, since one complaint of this book it that she rarely tells how to accomplish something.
Yay! Nearing the end of this book! Before I go any further, let's talk about the next book club. I've been reading this awesome book that looks at some shocking statistics that disprove many classic parenting techniques. It's titled NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
. Seriously, it has blown my mind. The first chapter includes some jaw dropping information about---wait for it---how it's actually damaging to tell your child that they are smart! Check out this story on ABC NEWS to get a glimpse about the supportive data on this theory. There are also chapters on teaching children about race, how lack of sleep has been linked to obesity and ADHD in children, and why children lie.This will be the next book we review on Book Club Monday. I think it will appeal to any parent, not just adoptive parents. It's written in a way that makes sense (no boring science report here!). So check it out, and be ready to discuss the entire book in one month. We'll be chatting about it on Oct. 24!
**********************
Chapter 16: Dealing with perfectionism
Well, if you follow this blog at all, you know I'm a die-hard perfectionist. I've long thought about my need to do things letter-perfect. I'm not sure where it stems from, but I do know that it has often served me well in the past (career wise). However, it also gets in the way of creating forgiving relationships. I am highly sensitive to my failures and weaknesses, and hold myself to a very high standard. And The Man is held to an equally high standard, which is where things get a little sticky.
When you have such a rigid view, you don't allow for the imperfections that are part of human nature. I know this...and yet I get completely nuts when things aren't done exactly as they should be. One one hand, I know that I have over-the-top expectations and can reason that it's really not a big deal that the tupperware be put away just so. I know that I will likely struggle with this where LM is concerned as well.
This chapter brought up a good point--many adoptees struggle with perfectionism as well. They worry that if they aren't perfect, they might disappoint the adoptive parents, or worse, "be sent back". Thinking that I could actually exacerbate a fear like that for LM is certainly a motivation for change.
Chapter 17: Stress
Yep. Lots of stress involved with being a parent. And parents should really try to take care of themselves. Nothing earth shattering in that message.
Chapter 18: Establish a support system
Sometimes I think being an adoptive family is like being on a cruise. (For the record, I've never actually been on a cruise, but this is how I imagine it.)
You are experiencing this amazing thing! The cruise is magnificent. And all the other people on the cruise know exactly what you are experiencing. They understand the beauty of it, the rituals, and the challenges (sea sickness, limited time on shore, frustrations at being herded around like cows.)
When you return to land, you try to describe the journey to others, but they never *really* get it. They nod their head, listening to your stories and trying to understand. They get a general idea about what you experience, but because they weren't there, they can't completely internalize the emotions and memories that you have. It's one of those 'you had to be there' kind of things.
That's what it's like for me on this adoption journey so far. Don't get me wrong---we have had so much support from family and friends while we waited to bring LM home, and definitely afterwards as we struggled with parenting challenges. We are incredibly thankful for that!
But the part where we are trying to understand specific adoption stuff, that's where only people who have been on the cruise really understand. Thank goodness we have made the connections and found support in our adoption community. Through our Families Through Korean Adoption group, Facebook adoption groups, bloggers and message boards, we have been encouraged, given advice, and have shared in triumphs together. And cried together through the tough times. There will be more trials and triumphs as we continue, and I value the input and knowledge of those families who have "been there and done that".
Absolutely, it's imperative to create a support system. Eldridge gives great specifics on how to create a support group in your community. I was pleased to see her give such directed information, since one complaint of this book it that she rarely tells how to accomplish something.
9.16.2011
Friday Round-Up
Yesterday was my first day back to work. I haven't worked since May 1! You know I've been dreading it and looking forward to it, all at the same time. I'm only working 2 days a week until the first of Oct., and then I'll go back full-time.
For now, it's not too hard leaving LM because on the two days a week I'm working, he'll be hanging with his Daddy all day. It's easier to leave knowing he's having a great time with Dad, than it will be to leave him at daycare.
So...the night before I return to work, LM and I both came down with a cold. At 4 a.m., I was feeling like crap, up with a crying and cranky baby who felt like crap. Ugh.
Daddy was a gem though, and stepped right up to the plate for his first Daddy Day. I love the idea of the boys having an entire day together, once a week. So great for both of them to get to know one another this way.
I have to admit, I was sorta wondering how the two would fare. A day toddler chasing can be very long if you aren't used to it.
Before I left the house at 9:30, things were looking a teensy tiny bit crazy. LM's bedroom had toys everywhere. The kitchen looked like an army unit had just dined. And laundry, toys and books were strewn about the living room.
I refrained from leaving an 8-page itemized list, with the minute-by-minute schedule of the day printed out for him to follow. I figured that they need to come up with their own rituals and routines. I just (gently) reminded him that LM needs a snack in between meals or he gets grumpy, and he naps twice a day.
And then I left.
Work was really great. Sort of relaxing! I realized, with shock, that it was 2 p.m. and I hadn't changed any diapers, nor seen any tantrums. Wow!
Only a phone call and few texts from the Boys. And surprisingly, they were just to tell me they missed me. (Awwwww!) From all appearances, things were going just fine.
And evidently, they WERE fine, because when I came home, The Man had everything under control. Little Man had both of his naps, the house was neat, and.....The Man even ordered pizza so I wouldn't have to make dinner. My boys totally rocked their first Daddy Day together!
A girl could really get used to this.
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
******************************
To laugh, a lot!: Brilliantly sarcastic responses to completely well meaning signs
To be young at heart: Webcam 101 for seniors
To start new traditions: My first Chuseok with my mother
To sing, scream and roar: Row, Row, Row your boat (two new stanzas I had never heard)
To add to my "list of things to try": Kimchijeon
To start making for the holidays: Folded paper German stars (this would be an amazing garland!)
To question: Adoption: It's Like Trying To Rhyme With "Orange"
To fall in love: Softly
To watch (it's our new favorite): Up All Night
For now, it's not too hard leaving LM because on the two days a week I'm working, he'll be hanging with his Daddy all day. It's easier to leave knowing he's having a great time with Dad, than it will be to leave him at daycare.
So...the night before I return to work, LM and I both came down with a cold. At 4 a.m., I was feeling like crap, up with a crying and cranky baby who felt like crap. Ugh.
Daddy was a gem though, and stepped right up to the plate for his first Daddy Day. I love the idea of the boys having an entire day together, once a week. So great for both of them to get to know one another this way.
I have to admit, I was sorta wondering how the two would fare. A day toddler chasing can be very long if you aren't used to it.
Before I left the house at 9:30, things were looking a teensy tiny bit crazy. LM's bedroom had toys everywhere. The kitchen looked like an army unit had just dined. And laundry, toys and books were strewn about the living room.
I refrained from leaving an 8-page itemized list, with the minute-by-minute schedule of the day printed out for him to follow. I figured that they need to come up with their own rituals and routines. I just (gently) reminded him that LM needs a snack in between meals or he gets grumpy, and he naps twice a day.
And then I left.
Work was really great. Sort of relaxing! I realized, with shock, that it was 2 p.m. and I hadn't changed any diapers, nor seen any tantrums. Wow!
Only a phone call and few texts from the Boys. And surprisingly, they were just to tell me they missed me. (Awwwww!) From all appearances, things were going just fine.
And evidently, they WERE fine, because when I came home, The Man had everything under control. Little Man had both of his naps, the house was neat, and.....The Man even ordered pizza so I wouldn't have to make dinner. My boys totally rocked their first Daddy Day together!
A girl could really get used to this.
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
******************************
To laugh, a lot!: Brilliantly sarcastic responses to completely well meaning signs
To be young at heart: Webcam 101 for seniors
To start new traditions: My first Chuseok with my mother
To sing, scream and roar: Row, Row, Row your boat (two new stanzas I had never heard)
To add to my "list of things to try": Kimchijeon
To start making for the holidays: Folded paper German stars (this would be an amazing garland!)
To question: Adoption: It's Like Trying To Rhyme With "Orange"
To fall in love: Softly
To watch (it's our new favorite): Up All Night
9.15.2011
Foldtastic! Fold your own furniture with cardboard
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| {image credit} |
It's a great site with designs for children's furniture that you can make out of cardboard. And....drumroll please....it's free!
They have three designs that you "fold" out of sturdy 4-mm cardboard. A stool, chair and rocker. I have no idea where to find 4-mm cardboard. That might be the toughest part of this project.
The designs are created in such a way that they can easily support a child's weight, and even that of some adults.
I can't wait to try this. Too bad we just threw out our cardboard!
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| {image credit} |
9.13.2011
Chuseok 2011
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| Songpyeon. © Cheese Curds and Kimchi |
I patted the dough gently. Did it feel like an earlobe? With my flour-crusted fingers I gave my earlobe a quick pinch. I have no idea. But that's what the recipe says. Knead dough until it feels like earlobes.
Sometimes our adventures into Korean culture feel similar to following a new recipe. I'm not sure if I'm are doing it *right*. I only hope that after all these unfamiliar steps, the food will come out somewhat edible, and if the kitchen gods are with you, it will be good. You season to taste, adding a little more of this, a little more of that. And in the end, you have something unique to you.
I thought about that as I was making songpyeon, a traditional rice cake, for our first Chuseok celebration. Chuseok is a three-day celebration, honoring family and food. It's one of the largest holidays in Korea and can be compared to our Thanksgiving. (See THIS POST for more information about Chuseok.)
(Oh, by the way, Chuseok jal ji nae sae yo! That's the traditional greeting for Chuseok. You can also say Chuseok jal bo nae sae yo.)
Seeing as this is our first Chuseok with Little Man home, it felt important to begin the groundwork for incorporating some Korean traditions into our lives. A challenge since we've never attended a real Chuseok celebration and what we know has been gained through YouTube videos and books. So, like following a new recipe, we are "seasoning to taste" and making it uniquely ours.
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| Jap Chae! © Cheese Curds and Kimchi |
Yesterday, I tackled another part--the food. Traditional foods are jab chae, soup, fruit, and songpyeon. I had visions of a lush spread, much like what I do with Thanksgiving, with the three of us eating until we were stuffed. Well...it was a little difficult to do a huge meal with a grumpy, teething toddler demanding my attention. Shockingly, I managed to make the jab chae and songpyeon.
I followed THIS recipe for the vegetarian jap chae. And it was freaking incredible. Seriously. Like, I-can't-believe-I-actually-made-this good. I omitted the bed pepper and substituted bean thread noodles for the potato starch noodles. I also used reduced-sodium soy sauce, and used less than called for. It was a huge hit and next time I will double the recipe. There wasn't a noodle left over when we finished.
I loved making the songpyeon! They say that you can't have Chuseok without them. The hardest thing about making these was 1) figuring out what ear lobes feel like, and 2)
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| Filling the songpyeon. © Cheese Curds and Kimchi |
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| Rice cakes in their steam bath atop the pine needles. © Cheese Curds and Kimchi |
After all that cooking (which is exactly what most Korean mothers do on this holiday!) we sat down to enjoy our meal. It wasn't exactly like I had envisioned. The Man got home from work a bit late. Which meant the noodles weren't hot. And when we sat down to eat, Little Man was screaming his head off. He ate a few mouthfuls of noodles and wasn't interested in the songpyeon. So, we wolfed down our dinner and rushed him off to bath and an early bedtime. Which suited him just fine.
The third component of the holiday is honoring family and ancestors. Traditionally, you would visit your parents home (specifically the husband's parents), and visit the graves of family members. This is where I start to get a bit lonely. Our family is on the west coast, and we are so far away. I miss being able to spend time with them.
I haven't figured out just what we'll do tonight to honor our family and ancestors. We do believe in acknowledging that much of who we are has been forged from the experiences and lives of those who came before us. And, it's good to stay connected to the memory of family members who have already passed.
So that was our first Chuseok! We do have one more celebration to go--in early Oct. our Korean adoption group will be gathering together for our annual party. Can't wait! When we went last year, our home study had just gone to Korea and I remember watching all those adorable children, many in their hanboks, running and playing and hoping that one day we would see our son among them. And this year, we will!
How Chuseok is Changing {WSJ}
Chuseok: Korea's Harvest Thanksgiving Holiday {Seoul Eats}
No Chuseok without Songpyeon
Chuseok exodus begins {The Korean Times}
Chuseok traditions {EzineMark.com}
9.12.2011
Book Club Monday: 20 Things...chapters 13-15
(For more info on the book we are reading, click HERE. All passages that are quoted are from Sherrie Eldridge's book, 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed. Here are links to our previous discussions: Chapter 1; Chapters 2 & 3; Chapters 4 & 5, Chapters 6-9, Chapters 10-12.)
Chapter 13: Redeem Insensitive Remarks about Adoption
I thought this chapter was pretty valuable. It's a topic that most adoptive families have to deal with on a regular basis. There are the obvious hurtful comments like "can't you have your own children", "what about all those kids here in the USA who need homes," and other less obvious, but equally insensitive comments like "just watch, you'll get pregnant now". (As if that would make me happier!?)
Eldridge lists some good retorts to common rude questions such as: "Aren't there lots of kids who need homes here? If you feel strongly about doemstic adoption, then by all means, that's what you should pursue."
But for me, the most valuable thing in this chapter is her suggestion to celebrate the Ten Gifts of Adoption. She lists these gifts as life, birth, name, belonging, family, strength, identity, security, love and acceptance. She explains these gifts in a way you can discuss with your children, and I really see this exercise as something that can give a child a sense of place and understanding in the world. Having a place and understanding are things that will help our children cope with the insensitivity of others, especially as it pertains to adoption.
She also suggests a "building character" flip chart to help children cope with comments they hear from others. She suggests making a binder of pages with insensitive adoption comments written on them, and as a family, discuss the best answer to those questions. I can see this being helpful for younger school-aged kids who are learning to deal with these type of issues on their own, away from their parents.
Chapter 14: Honor your child's birth parents
The Man and I were just discussing a challenging parenting moment that I read about on an adoption board. The mother wrote about her young daughter, who was born in China. She was having a difficult time coping with the fact that buying products from China is something people avoid. China-made items are seen as cheap, inferior, unwanted and in some cases, dangerous.
"But I was made in China," the little girl cried. How can you instill a pride of culture/heritage when the message is that the culture/heritage is not something to be proud of?
This is the same reason it's important to honor our children's birth parents--they know they are a part of that person as well, and if that person is not seen as valuable and worthwhile, what does that mean about the child?
But how to honor them? For most international adoptees, we have limited information about their parents. We don't know much about them as people--how they looked, their demeanor, etc. To us, they are just a few facts on paper. But we still need to find ways to honor them. We want to let LM know that they have a place in our lives because he was born to them.
Honoring also means trying to find a way to help him connect to them emotionally. It's human nature to want to connect to important people in our lives, whether they are a part of your life or not. He will need to know that he's a unique blend of his birth parents and his adopted parents. That we will always be here with him, and he will always carry a piece of them with him as well. Defining some rituals where we can include their "memory" will be important in helping him learn this.
Chapter 15: Refuse guilt trips
Yeah, I need serious help in this area. I'd never heard of "false guilt" before reading this chapter. It's an imagined offense. Something that you feel responsible for, but you really have no accountability for. Feeling guilty because your child is hurting over a loss, because he will have pain from adoption issues, sadness that you can't make it easier for him.
I definitely have false guilt. And I would have called it "empathy" before I had read this chapter. I never thought about my false guilt being a problem before, but Eldridge makes a good case for trying to acknowledge these feelings and letting them go.
Next week, chapters 16-18.
On another note...I like being accountable to you all with this book club. I'd read the book eventually, but probably not pay as much attention to specifics as I am doing now. So, I'd like to do another book when this is finished. Any suggestions??
Also, think the format needs a tweak. Next book I'll read the whole thing before discussing it. Maybe do one book a month?
Feedback??
Chapter 13: Redeem Insensitive Remarks about Adoption
I thought this chapter was pretty valuable. It's a topic that most adoptive families have to deal with on a regular basis. There are the obvious hurtful comments like "can't you have your own children", "what about all those kids here in the USA who need homes," and other less obvious, but equally insensitive comments like "just watch, you'll get pregnant now". (As if that would make me happier!?)
Eldridge lists some good retorts to common rude questions such as: "Aren't there lots of kids who need homes here? If you feel strongly about doemstic adoption, then by all means, that's what you should pursue."
But for me, the most valuable thing in this chapter is her suggestion to celebrate the Ten Gifts of Adoption. She lists these gifts as life, birth, name, belonging, family, strength, identity, security, love and acceptance. She explains these gifts in a way you can discuss with your children, and I really see this exercise as something that can give a child a sense of place and understanding in the world. Having a place and understanding are things that will help our children cope with the insensitivity of others, especially as it pertains to adoption.
She also suggests a "building character" flip chart to help children cope with comments they hear from others. She suggests making a binder of pages with insensitive adoption comments written on them, and as a family, discuss the best answer to those questions. I can see this being helpful for younger school-aged kids who are learning to deal with these type of issues on their own, away from their parents.
Chapter 14: Honor your child's birth parents
The Man and I were just discussing a challenging parenting moment that I read about on an adoption board. The mother wrote about her young daughter, who was born in China. She was having a difficult time coping with the fact that buying products from China is something people avoid. China-made items are seen as cheap, inferior, unwanted and in some cases, dangerous.
"But I was made in China," the little girl cried. How can you instill a pride of culture/heritage when the message is that the culture/heritage is not something to be proud of?
This is the same reason it's important to honor our children's birth parents--they know they are a part of that person as well, and if that person is not seen as valuable and worthwhile, what does that mean about the child?
But how to honor them? For most international adoptees, we have limited information about their parents. We don't know much about them as people--how they looked, their demeanor, etc. To us, they are just a few facts on paper. But we still need to find ways to honor them. We want to let LM know that they have a place in our lives because he was born to them.
Honoring also means trying to find a way to help him connect to them emotionally. It's human nature to want to connect to important people in our lives, whether they are a part of your life or not. He will need to know that he's a unique blend of his birth parents and his adopted parents. That we will always be here with him, and he will always carry a piece of them with him as well. Defining some rituals where we can include their "memory" will be important in helping him learn this.
Chapter 15: Refuse guilt trips
Yeah, I need serious help in this area. I'd never heard of "false guilt" before reading this chapter. It's an imagined offense. Something that you feel responsible for, but you really have no accountability for. Feeling guilty because your child is hurting over a loss, because he will have pain from adoption issues, sadness that you can't make it easier for him.
I definitely have false guilt. And I would have called it "empathy" before I had read this chapter. I never thought about my false guilt being a problem before, but Eldridge makes a good case for trying to acknowledge these feelings and letting them go.
"Your child will experience multiple losses surrounding adoption that are not your fault. To be truly open to your child, recognize the false guilt for what it is; in this way, you'll be freer to help your child. And he or she will sense your openess and be able to share with you without worrying about hurting you."I know that I can take other people's feelings on as my own (hence, the reason I abandoned pursuing a career in psychology). I don't want my feelings of guilt about LM's issues to get in the way from helping him to work through them. I think I can be empathetic and learn to stand with him in his journey to understand his adoption issues. I can't do that if I'm emotional or feeling responsible for those issues.
Next week, chapters 16-18.
On another note...I like being accountable to you all with this book club. I'd read the book eventually, but probably not pay as much attention to specifics as I am doing now. So, I'd like to do another book when this is finished. Any suggestions??
Also, think the format needs a tweak. Next book I'll read the whole thing before discussing it. Maybe do one book a month?
Feedback??
9.11.2011
Sept 11
"Oh, my darling. How can I ever describe to you the tragedy that has struck our world today."
That is the beginning of a letter I wrote 10 years ago. I was sitting in my car, crying. The towers had fallen hours before, and I was sprinting all over an All-American town in the Midwest, documenting the events of the day in my work as a journalist at a mid-sized newspaper.
There have been so many stories out in Blogland about this event. People who were near the towers, or should have been, or had loved ones there. I don't have much to contribute to that discussion. To be really honest, I can't recall much about what I did or where I was. It passed in a blur.
I remember that it was a beautiful morning. That it started much like any other day. That the newsroom grew still and silent as we gathered around the television, and then exploded into a flurry of activity once we realized that we had just witnessed an act of terrorism.
I do know I shot hundreds of photos that day and worked well into the night. I remember long, drawn faces. The look in a stranger's tear-filled eyes as they met mine. A group of firefighters standing shoulder to shoulder as they saw the devastation that their fellow firefighters faced across the miles. The sobbing pleas of family members, holding photos of their loved ones. The creased brows as volunteers began loading pallets of water, food and medical supplies.
The way mothers held their children close. The tightly-drawn line of a father's mouth.
And that is when I wrote to my son. I didn't know him then. He was a hope and a dream. One that I wasn't sure would ever be a reality. But I hoped one day I would know him. And I wanted to share with him my fear about how this terrible moment might have changed his world.
Ten years later, I still haven't re-read that letter. I buried it in a drawer somewhere. I'm not sure if it was more painful to read a letter to a child that I feared I would never know, or to read the raw emotion in my written words. The first lines have always stayed with me, for some reason though.
I think that's part of the reason that I intentionally avoided much of the 9/11 anniversary coverage. No news. No newspapers. No radio. I even avoided the Facebook feeds today.
It's hard to believe that it's actually been 10 years.
Ten years, and I still have no words to describe it.
9.09.2011
Friday Round-Up: Healthy edition!--9.9.2011
 |
| First harvest from our garden. (Yes, that is a really tiny eggplant!) © Cheese Curds and Kimchi |
OK, I'm going out on a new topic today, but it's something that is really important to me.
I've been full-fledged vegetarian since 1993. I began the process in 1991, and it was a slow progression. But it made a huge difference in my health.
It started when I was 19. I was on my own and able to make my own decisions. Which meant I ate at Mc.Donald's. A lot.
I also was sick. A lot. With frightening regularity, I seemed to get the flu at least once a month, and had a chronic cold. I was teaching at the time and attributed my illnesses to being around children, AKA, Tiny Germ Factories.
I'm not blaming my ill health on McD's. It was what I was eating that was the culprit.
I never really liked the taste beef. It gave me a creepy weird feeling. I can't describe it, but it's like having worms under my skin.
But I ate meat because...everyone does. After all, my grandparents owned a dairy farm and we were raised drinking right-out-of-the-cow fresh milk. Our beef was raised on that same farm (although when one of the cows had to go to butcher, Grandpa said the cuts of beef in the freezer were from a different cow, because I considered most of the cows on the farm were my personal friends and the thought of eating them freaked me out).
And then I realized, I had a choice. Duh! Once I realized that, I never ate red meat again. I had never been a fan of pork either (although I did love hot dogs, but can you really call that pork??) so that went by the wayside right away too.
After a few weeks, I wasn't getting nearly as sick as I had been. At first I didn't connect it to the food.
I was eating a lot more chicken and after about 8 months, I was getting that same creepy feeling from chicken that I did with red meat. So chicken went too. And a few years after that, seafood as well.
I had withdrawals, for sure. I craved chicken nuggets and hot dogs and other crappy things that really weren't meat at all. But as I continued to stay the course, there was no denying that I felt better. Being a vegetarian was not only good for my health, but also got rid of that pang of guilt I felt each time I ate meat. It hasn't been easy because back then there weren't any meat substitutes and most restaurants did not have any vegetarian options. But the difference in my health wasn't to be ignored, so I stuck it out.
My motto now is "No food with a face".
That was the beginning of my healthier food journey. I'm a die-hard junk food fan, so this has been a long and slow progression. And although I've never eaten meat again, I do still eat some pretty crappy foods (Oreos, any sort of pie, chips, candy bars, etc.). I'm a long way from a health-food nut.
I've had many a long discussion with people who badger me for my food choices and seem personally offended by them. "People are at the top of the food chain, so why not eat meat?" I'm not going to respond here to that question, because that would warrant an entire other posting. My choices are not a statement of judgement about other people's decision what to eat. They are simply my choice about what works best for me. I can go on and on about all the reasons I feel eating a veg diet is the best thing for people to do (humanness to animals, better for the planet, etc.) but I don't do that. Because food is personal. And so is your health.
You don't have to be a vegetarian to take steps to be more healthy. And that's what this whole diatribe was about. There's a lot of controversial stuff out there in the food world right now. Added hormones, manufactured ingredients, dangerous chemicals. The list goes on and on. And while you are consuming that stuff, there is more and more data showing just how dangerous this stuff can be to our health. So today, do something good for yourself. Get a little more educated about food practices that might make you feel better. Take a little time and learn about the issues. A little knowledge goes a long way.
I've included links today to some great posts on food issues. No one is going to push you to become a vegetarian (although I did include a link if you are interested)--this is just an effort to give people more information about the foods that we are eating and how you feed your body.
Hope you find some new information to keep you and your family healthy! And please, if you know of links that would be of interest to others, leave them in the comment area!
(BTW--The Man and LM's health is obviously of the utmost importance to me as well. The Man went veg a while back and we are raising LM as a vegetarian too. That seems to be another hot-button issue for people, but I'll save that for another blog post.)
Have a great and healthy weekend!
**************************
To be healthier: The Unhealthy Truth (also see the blog hop link at the bottom of this post to find other great bloggers supporting The Unhealthy Truth campaign)
To watch out for BPA: Attack of the killer tomatoes! Canned tomatoes and BPA
To avoid: Scientists Finally Prove High Fructose Corn Syrup Risks
To spot the fakes: Blueberries faked in cereals, muffins (link via Write Mind Open Heart)
To drink healthy: Just one more thing to make your family healthier: no rBHG in your milk
To fruit it up: The Organic Dirty Dozen vs. The Clean Fifteen (with a handy chart!)
To go veg: How to become a vegetarian
9.05.2011
Book Club Monday: 20 Things...chapters 10-12
(For more info on the book we are reading, click HERE. All passages that are quoted are from Sherrie Eldridge's book, 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed. Here are links to our previous discussions: Chapter 1; Chapters 2 & 3; Chapters 4 & 5, Chapters 6-9.)
Chapter 10: Grieve losses to attain wholehearted parenting
This is something you hear a lot about in pre-adoption counseling. Grieve your losses. I just hadn't thought about those losses becoming apparent after our child was home. And I have felt them.
I've been sad that there are things I won't be able to share with LM about when he was a younger infant. Hurt that he'll have to deal with adoption and race issues. I struggle a bit with the changes to our lifestyle. And definitely find it painful to see him struggle to make sense of our new family and accept us as people who will love him for the rest of his days.
I was surprised to have these emotions after the long wait to bring LM home. I mean, shouldn't I be happy now that he was finally here? I was as prepared for his arrival as I could be. We knew of the challenges ahead of us. But none of them were really something we could fathom until LM was home and we were actually experiencing those challenges we had only read about. And of course, this all happened when we were completely exhausted and shell shocked at being new parents. I'm still sorting some of these emotions (and likely will do so for years to come), so it's hard to grieve something that isn't over yet. But it is helpful in at least acknowledging that these are things that hurt.
I absolutely love the grief box project idea on pg. 130. I think it's great to identify feelings and give them some tangible representation. This gives you a way to be with them and understand them, and would be especially helpful in discussing them with your child. LM is too young to do this with now, but maybe in a year?? Has anyone out there done this?
Chapter 11: Give the gift of "what is so"
Love this. I'm a big believer in it. But it's hard to put into practice because you just want to make things better for people when they are hurting, and especially for your child. Things are what they are, and that's not always how you want them to be. A life-long lesson for everyone, really. Adoption isn't something you fix or make better for your child. It's part of the story of their life, good and bad. Helping them to learn that there are things in life that are the way they are is a powerful lesson.
I particularly loved this:
Chapter 12: Learn about and link to your child's basic emotions
Developing intimacy with our children is something I know most biological parents don't really contemplate. I recently talked about this with my mother-in-law, who parented three biological children. She said she had never thought about this before. She just had her children and they responded to her. They did not know another way.
But adoptive children do. They knew other caregivers and know the pain of losing them. So I think they really choose whether or not to be intimate with you. And building that trust to lay a foundation for intimacy is a struggle. Especially with older children who have such a strong memory of loss. And this memory does not fade quickly.
Eldridge cites from the book Learning the Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden and Charlotte Vick,
This is true for us. Some days, I have just mere seconds when this curious and active boy slows down enough to look me in the eyes and make a real connection. This relationship is being built one glance at a time, one hug at a time. LM deserves to take things slow and on his terms. These things take time.
On to chapters 13, 14 & 15 for next week!
Chapter 10: Grieve losses to attain wholehearted parenting
This is something you hear a lot about in pre-adoption counseling. Grieve your losses. I just hadn't thought about those losses becoming apparent after our child was home. And I have felt them.
I've been sad that there are things I won't be able to share with LM about when he was a younger infant. Hurt that he'll have to deal with adoption and race issues. I struggle a bit with the changes to our lifestyle. And definitely find it painful to see him struggle to make sense of our new family and accept us as people who will love him for the rest of his days.
I was surprised to have these emotions after the long wait to bring LM home. I mean, shouldn't I be happy now that he was finally here? I was as prepared for his arrival as I could be. We knew of the challenges ahead of us. But none of them were really something we could fathom until LM was home and we were actually experiencing those challenges we had only read about. And of course, this all happened when we were completely exhausted and shell shocked at being new parents. I'm still sorting some of these emotions (and likely will do so for years to come), so it's hard to grieve something that isn't over yet. But it is helpful in at least acknowledging that these are things that hurt.
I absolutely love the grief box project idea on pg. 130. I think it's great to identify feelings and give them some tangible representation. This gives you a way to be with them and understand them, and would be especially helpful in discussing them with your child. LM is too young to do this with now, but maybe in a year?? Has anyone out there done this?
Chapter 11: Give the gift of "what is so"
Love this. I'm a big believer in it. But it's hard to put into practice because you just want to make things better for people when they are hurting, and especially for your child. Things are what they are, and that's not always how you want them to be. A life-long lesson for everyone, really. Adoption isn't something you fix or make better for your child. It's part of the story of their life, good and bad. Helping them to learn that there are things in life that are the way they are is a powerful lesson.
I particularly loved this:
"This parent doesn't define the child or family by the wound [adoption], but sees it as a single thread in the tapestry, a thread that will add depth to the family's design."
Chapter 12: Learn about and link to your child's basic emotions
Developing intimacy with our children is something I know most biological parents don't really contemplate. I recently talked about this with my mother-in-law, who parented three biological children. She said she had never thought about this before. She just had her children and they responded to her. They did not know another way.
But adoptive children do. They knew other caregivers and know the pain of losing them. So I think they really choose whether or not to be intimate with you. And building that trust to lay a foundation for intimacy is a struggle. Especially with older children who have such a strong memory of loss. And this memory does not fade quickly.
Eldridge cites from the book Learning the Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden and Charlotte Vick,
"The shared experience of brief, positive interaction is the cement that emotionally binds the caregiver and child. Like the intimate eye gazing of this stage and of adults in loving relationships, positive interactions are brief, lasting seconds, not minutes."
This is true for us. Some days, I have just mere seconds when this curious and active boy slows down enough to look me in the eyes and make a real connection. This relationship is being built one glance at a time, one hug at a time. LM deserves to take things slow and on his terms. These things take time.
On to chapters 13, 14 & 15 for next week!
9.02.2011
Friday Round Up
Oh, this little boy! He's growing so darned fast. He's really more of a toddler now than a baby, and along with it has come some very definite toddler behavior. He wanted to share some of his *special* talents with you, that we've been, um, *enjoying*.
Hi guys. Little Man here, and I wanted to share my top list of games I like to play with Mom and Dad. I'm sure you have your own favorite games too, so be sure to share them with us!
OK guys, it's nap time, so I'm about done with my advice. But one last thing. Don't forget the most important signature move you have. Right when you think Mommy or Daddy is about to lose their schmidt, flash them your super cute smile (be sure to use your dimples if you have them) and give them a little giggle. This totally melts them. Well, most of the time. Unless there is poo involved.
Hope you have a great holiday weekend!
*************************
To share: You Are My I Love You
To read and eat: Story Book Recipies
To debate nature vs. nurture: Who Made Me What I Am? (via Adoption Talk)
To help: Little Parachutes (picture books devoted to help children with challenges--books on a variety of topics)
To pimp out your iPhone: Learn Something New: iPhone edition
To blow that diet all to hell: Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake
To inspire: Amazing reading spots
To identify: On Dear Dragon: Part 2
Hi guys. Little Man here, and I wanted to share my top list of games I like to play with Mom and Dad. I'm sure you have your own favorite games too, so be sure to share them with us!
- The Snatch and Dash--The Snatch and Dash is a classic, but still lots of fun. Casually saunter into a room and determine which object has the highest value or biggest potential for making a mess. DO NOT go towards the targeted item at this time or you will alert the adults to your plan! Instead, start playing with your toys, lulling your parents into a false sense that everything is mellow and quiet. When they think you are fully engaged with your tosy, they will start fiddling with their iPhones or reading a book. That's the time to make your move! Dash for your targeted item of choice and then sprint off with it. This leads to the fun game of trying to outrun your parents. You are gonna love it!
- The Dash--This is a modified version of the Snatch and Dash. Determine a set point when the supervising adult is farthest away from you, and then start sprinting in the opposite direction from them, thereby giving yourself a huge head start. The game kicks into high gear when you sprints towards something exciting and new, like the road. Parents seem to love this because they start yelling and running really fast! (Grandma had particular fun with this game during her recent stay. We were in the front yard and Mommy was in the backyard with the dog. As Mommy tells it, "Next thing I see, LM is running down the neighbor's driveway at a full sprint, heading towards the road. Thank goodness the driveway is long! And then, like in a movie, around the corner comes Grandma at a full run, chasing him down. She got a little winded, but she made it in time." Great game, Grandma! Maybe we can play again soon.)
- Twist And Shout--This isn't just a song anymore. It's a full-blown dance sensation guaranteed to drive Moms around the world batsh*t crazy. It's easy to do. Just scream at the top of your lungs as your Mom tries to change your dirty diaper (the nerve of that woman!). While you are screaming like a banshee so that all the neighbors in a 5-block radius think you are being tortured by terrorists, then institute the patented "twist" move. Flail all your appendages about (it's best if they are all going in opposite directions) while twisting your torso and attempting to escape from the changing table. Try this dance in new locations to keep it fresh. The women's restroom, the park, or during an emergency change in the back of the car.
- Privates Investigation--I've discovered something big! (OK, not that big.) I've found the most amazing thing, and Mommy and Daddy always keep it wrapped up in my diaper. So, I have to be quick and efficient with my investigation. As soon as that diaper comes off, both hands are down there making sure that it hasn't gone anywhere. They try to give me things to hold onto and check out, but none of those toys are as interesting as what's between my legs! They seem to be particularly grumpy when I've got poo in my diaper and stick my hands down there, but I don't let that slow me down. This leads to a fun game of Mommy trying to hold all 4 of my appendages while she cleans the area. So I usually have to raise the ante by incorporating the Twist And Shout move (see above). Fun had by LM. Mommy, not so much.
- Interior Designer--Evidently Mom hasn't heard of feng shui, so I regularly rearrange the furniture to show her the error of her ways. If I push really hard I can move a small table and chair across the room. Good thing we have wooden floors so things move easily! I haven't figured out how to move the couch yet. But that's not for lack of trying.
- Stunt Man--Mommy says that I have no fear. She also says thank goodness the universe compensated for this lack of fear by making sure the mother of a fearless child has the reciprocal amount, thus, ensuring the child's safety. I have no idea what that means. All I know is that she screams when she sees me standing up on the seat of my roller bike without any hands. She mumbles something about the caster wheels and the hardwood floor and visits to the emergency room. Mommy says I have to stop talking about this now because her blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.
OK guys, it's nap time, so I'm about done with my advice. But one last thing. Don't forget the most important signature move you have. Right when you think Mommy or Daddy is about to lose their schmidt, flash them your super cute smile (be sure to use your dimples if you have them) and give them a little giggle. This totally melts them. Well, most of the time. Unless there is poo involved.
Hope you have a great holiday weekend!
*************************
To share: You Are My I Love You
To read and eat: Story Book Recipies
To debate nature vs. nurture: Who Made Me What I Am? (via Adoption Talk)
To help: Little Parachutes (picture books devoted to help children with challenges--books on a variety of topics)
To pimp out your iPhone: Learn Something New: iPhone edition
To blow that diet all to hell: Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake
To inspire: Amazing reading spots
To identify: On Dear Dragon: Part 2
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