My Adoption Story

Happy We Are The Truth adoption blogger day! The Joint Council on International Children's Services designated April 15 as "We Are The Truth adoption blogger day" and asks for bloggers to post their adoption success stories. Although we haven't completed our own adoption yet, I do have an adoption story to share with you.

I guess even at a young age I had kind of a calloused view about fathers. My "dad" had flown the coop when I was pretty young, and I only had a few memories, most of which weren't good. Most everyone in my family had been divorced at least once, including my mom. I just didn't see men as permanent parts of a family equation.

I was content to continue life as I knew it--just me, my mom and my younger sister. But sometimes I wished I had more.

Each year in Campfire Girls, we had a Father/Daughter dance. I got more nervous as the date of the dance grew closer, wanting to be at the dance but lacking the required "date" for the event. My wonderful grandpa stepped in, but I still felt like an outsider as I watched my friends spinning circles with their fathers.

On slumber party weekends my best-friend's father would be waiting for us after school, and take us back to their house where he'd make us pizzas and delicious pies. I was jealous that her father would dote on her that way.

Little things like that can seem large in a girl's life. But I was a pretty practical kid and refused to let myself wish for something I didn't think I could have.

I can't remember the first time Mom brought TW to meet us. But I do remember one of the first times I spent time with him. He brought his daughter TJ, then 4-years-old, along with Mom, K and me, to the roller rink. I can remember watching Mom and him laughing as they skated around the rink, the colored lights reflecting off of the disco ball.

I think Mom and TW dated about a year. They were married when I was 12. And it was shortly after that, that he adopted my sister and I, and gave us his last name.

I wish I could recall the day we were adopted, but I don't. And I can't remember much about our early years together. If I had known how dear those moments would be to me in later years I would have studied them carefully.

I remember thinking he was terribly handsome. I can remember riding on the back of his motorcycle, clinging to him tightly and screaming with delight as he rode a dirt bike up and down some outdoor stairs.

I remember being so proud when a friend at school saw my Dad and said I looked just like him. I didn't tell her that he wasn't my biological dad. I held fast to the rush I felt knowing someone thought I was his daughter.

The first day of junior high, the teacher called role. She called out my name, but incorrectly used my previous last name, not my new one. I refused to answer. I stated my new last name, and was so angry when insisted on seating me in the K section, the first letter of my former last name.

I had a new name, and I remember shyly trying out a new one for him...Dad. I don't recall his reaction but know I had butterflies in my stomach when I said those words.

My father lives up to the title of DAD. That's a pretty tall order in my life too, because I had very high expectations for him. He's an incredible man who took on the responsibility of caring for two little girls, and raised us the best he could. Although his bio daughter TJ didn't live with us, he supported her as well. I was often jealous of TJ, that she had a bio dad who didn't run away from his obligation and loved her so much. And then I would happily remind myself, he's my father now too.

I can't say that our life was always easy after that. There were really hard patches, and I battled with my Dad on occasion, like any teenager girl will do. But through it all, I knew I was loved. He has always been a role model for me, someone I could come to with any problem, and always be supported. I'm so proud to carry his last name, because I'm proud of the man that he is.

Dad, for everything you’ve done for me, and all you continue to do, thank you. I love you very much.

Your daughter