Worrying & waiting

Thanks to the friends and family who've shared their concern about the conflict between North and South Korea and the possible affects (if any) it could have on our adoption. Your support really means so much to us!

I got pretty panicked yesterday morning when I was reading blogs---one mentioned that international adoptions out of South Korea have been halted due to the conflict. We've seen no information to back this up (and we've been looking) so I fired off an email to our agency in Michigan. (FYI--I still have found no source of information to verify that statement, but if I do, I'll pass it along.)

The agency let us know that the are proceeding with business as usual and have no information stating whether the situation will affect adoptions. All they can tell us is that it isn't affecting them now, and they are taking things one day at a time.

This isn't super comforting information, but it's not the worst case either. I try to stifle the barrage of "what ifs" that batter my brain. The Man reminds me that these things are out of our control and to try and not worry about things we can't change. He's right, and we'll have a family one way or another. But I still walk around with this nagging feeling of uncertainty.

The other piece of news they gave us is that things are slower right now, and the referrals timelines are at least 6+ months from the date the home study went to Korea. Ours went Sept. 30. Our initial referral estimate was 4-6 months so I was optimistically hoping that we'd get ours at the 4-month mark, which would be right around the corner.

Guess we have to settle in for a longer wait.


  1. I really feel for all of your that are in-process right now; as if anyone needs more uncertainty added to their wait.

    One thing I had to do during our adoptions in order to minimize the freakouts was to always add a month on to any estimate given and prepare myself for that scenario...that way, if you complete a step early, you can feel excited and if things take a bit longer, you're not so crushed.

  2. FWIW, our agency sent out an email this morning indicating that Korean adoptions were not affected, at least not yet. So I wonder where that other blog got that info...

  3. It's hard to handle, but the Man's advice is right... all you can do is deal with what you've been given. Golly, that sounds cold when I type it! But if I learned nothing else during the adoption process, it was to let things go. So much is beyond your control that worrying about it and calculating time lines and figuring ways to speed things up... it just spends energy in a useless way and leaves you feeling even more frustrated.
    As far as I know, business is as usual in Korea, on all fronts. All that was affected was the island where the firing took place. So I believe things are carrying on as usual.

  4. Hang in there. I wish I had words to make all doubts or concerns fade away, but take comfort in the knowledge that life is progressing as normal in Korea right now.

    And it is good that you got the updated timeline now - that (as strange as it seems right now) helps. With Natalie, our timeline changed and it was crushing and yet then I knew the phone wasn't going to ring the next day. And that helped. You day WILL come.

  5. it is really hard to hear about what's going on in korea, but our friends and relatives seem to be all, "eh, it happens." they're not worried, so i'm going to try my very hardest not to worry.
    hoping you get good news to relieve this stressful news soon!

  6. To be honest, I just ignore everything I hear about the conflict. It's called denial and protecting myself against an anxiety attack. As far as the wait times, our agency has always given us a long wait time and I have a feeling those that were quoted shorter times are going to be neck and neck with our agencys predicted wait. I am sort of glad for the worst-case-scenario wait time they told us from the begining so I havent got my hopes up. I just heard people joining the program in the last few weeks are being told 36 months :(

  7. Thanks for this update....we are with AIAA too. It seems like we are a week behind you and "the Man" in the process. I was just going to email them today for an update. It is out of our control and I think I am going to try and follow Brooke's lead-lol.


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