© Cheese Curds and Kimchi

"Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese?" asks my friend M. He's calling at 6 p.m. on a Saturday night. I can hear the kids screaming in the background and my friend is shouting over the din.

He's giving his wife a little time out, and took his over-active 7-year-old to the pizza parlor. After a few hours of watching the madness of children hopped up on sugar and video games, he needed to make contact with the adult world. So he called me.

"It's not too late to change your mind," he laughs. "I mean, do you have any idea how your life is going to change?"


Change. I can imagine the changes to come, but I really can't fathom them. Can anyone really know something until they have experienced it?

Right now we lead a very lovely, do-as-we-please, impromptu life. Sleep in late. Go out for last minute drinks with friends. Spend hours cooking a single meal. Listen to music at ear-shattering levels. We lead a damn good life as a family of two.

And we've worked really hard to reach this point in our relationship. Nineteen years to be exact. Today is our 19th (gasp) wedding anniversary. It's been a wonderful, exasperating, emotional, and joyful experience.

We were 22 when we married, just kids really. Our hearts were full of love and we had our whole lives stretched out before us. We had no idea of the challenges ahead of us. Only the confidence that we would face those changes together.

My great-grandmother told us that marriage is really hard. And she was right. Each phase of our marriage has been a real learning experience. We've learned to really communicate and work through our emotional baggage.  We learned being right wasn't as important as being connected. We've become comfortable with our differences. And we believe that marriages are like flowers, needing to be tended and cared for. We've become really good gardeners.

So the big change that's about to come--it's both exhilarating and a bit scary. Crossing the threshold to a new experience is always a bittersweet process for us. And perhaps I'm a bit more sentimental today because it's our anniversary, but I can't help but wonder how our marriage will change and grow when we become parents.

I know, the foundations that we've built over the first 19 years of our marriage will carry us through the changes to come. I know we'll be fine. More than fine. I'm just a bit sad to leave that comfy, intimate and wonderful world that we live in right now.

Just a little bit of reflection today I guess. And although I am a little nervous about changing our life as a family of two, it's much more painful to think about not being a family of three.

Happy anniversary, to my wonderful partner on this life's journey. I love you babe.


  1. Happy Anniversary, and just to confirm it, having children changes everything!!! But these have been the best years of our life. The joy the boys bring to us is indescribable and I know your little one is going to bring you guys amazing joy. If I had to make any two decisions over again and again it would be to have these children. It feels like being parents together just makes your love better. Sure, its rough sometimes but the rewards are worth it:)

  2. You will also begin to see your husband as a loving father, and that is totally worth the wait in the adoption world :) When my hubs and I adopted Kellan (our second child), we got on that blue plane and said that it was teamwork that was going to be our saving grace during the first few months home. No fighting over who does things right or wrong ~ pure teamwork. I will say that being a mom is frustrating, exhausting and lonely at times, but there are moments where you see your child becoming a loving, trusting, humorous individual and your heart will soar. You put all that you've got into this child and you will be amazed what they will become in 5 years! Happy Anniversary.

  3. Happy Anniversary from another WI adoptive mom :). I just happened upon your blog. It's always good to meet new adoptive blogging neighbors!

    Our two kiddos are from China (ages 4 and 5). We're both in our 40's. Believe it or not, I'm missing those days of being able to sleep in and live by the seats of our pants! Embrace it while you can because you will miss it.

    That said, congratulations...enjoy your journey!


  4. Happy anniversary!!! I had a very rough time adjusting to parenthood. Going from having all the free time in the world to not even having one second to what I wanted was really difficult. But you might just be lucky and be a natural.

  5. happy anniversary! as a rookie mom who has very recently experienced these changes, let me just say, i am totally missing sleeping in and hanging out with friends whenever i please, but it doesn't compare to how much i'm loving caring for our little guy ;)

  6. Happy Anniversary! You will miss the freedom, but over time it does get better. Eventually you will find yourself on date night with the hubby, thinking about hurrying back home to the little one. Nothing compares to being with your babies...I promise :)

  7. Happy Anniversary (yesterday)! Congrats on 19 years! I'm sure it'll be a bit of culture shock changing to a family of 3, but also well worth it! ;)

  8. Oh boy, do I identify with this. I know I'll miss many aspects of this life, but I also feel ready for the next chapter. This one has been wonderful, and I've enjoyed it and experienced it to the max--now it's time for the next one.

    Happy anniversary! :)

  9. Happy Anniversary (one day late)! I'm not even close to being a parent, but your nerves tell me that you're taking your commitment to be a parent seriously and that's admirable. :)

  10. Happy belated Anniversary! Thanks for stopping by my blog...it's nice to "meet" another adoptive family! Hope to follow along on your journey to bring your little one home!


  11. I loved reading this ... you have 19 years, I have 3 months. ;) Thanks for sharing and Happy Anniversary!


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