Adventures in hair

Exhibit #1 © Cheese Curds and Kimchi

LM was getting a bit shaggy and since his dol is in 2 weeks (gasp!) we wanted him to look sharp. Time for a haircut.

And I know it's cheesy, but I wanted to take him to one of those cutesy kid places. I just figured they would be the experts on wiggly, squirmy customers. Besides, they do this commemorative first hair cut thing for $24, with a photo, and little bits of his hair. So sweet, and I had a 50% off coupon so it's also a good deal! And those little car chairs are cute. Right?

Wrong.

Here are some of the highlights (hahah! I made a pun!) of our first hair-cutting experience:

• The "stylist" set LM in the very cute car atop two very slippery and wiggly cushions. And did not seat belt him in. I didn't even know there was a seat belt or would have insisted. And, when he reached for me, he tipped over the slippery, wiggly cushions, toppling over, falling out of the chair and aiming headfirst for the very hard floor about 4-feet below. Thank goodness I was standing there and snagged him before the imminent disaster. (No photo available because Mommy was playing catcher with LM's head.)

• Despite being told that all we wanted was a trim around the ears and neck and wanted to leave the top as it was, the "stylist" proceeded to cut chop off over an inch from the top. And she hacked a HUGE chunk out of the back. (See Exhibits #1 & #2) 

Exhibit #2 (Look at all that hair she is cutting!! Arghh!) © Cheese Curds and Kimchi

• She gave him 80's sideburns, which are not even. So when you look at him from the front, his ears look like they are not level. And to boot, she left wispy strands on the sideburns for added effect. (See Exhibit #3)

Exhibit #3 © Cheese Curds and Kimchi

• The stylist had the personality of an eggplant and the only things she said during the cut were "I like turquoise" (evident from her very long and turquoise colored nails and gobs of turquoise jewelry), and "look at your toes". Yes, she told the 11-month-old LM to look at his toes because she wanted him to look down. And she was serious. (See Exhibit #2 again.)

• He later slipped down those damned cushions and became pinned under the steering wheel on the cutesy car. The turquoise lovin' stylist was oblivious to why her customer had suddenly slumped forward and began screaming. (No photos available because Mommy was about to go all crazy on the turquoise idiot.)

By now, Mommy was getting really pissed. I could see the damage was done, and she was still hacking away at the back, trying to smooth out that big chunk of hair that was missing. Which meant more hair was at risk for removal. LM was starting to fuss so she handed him a tray of toys (none of them age appropriate and likely not sanitized) and that's when the haircut ended.

We're done here, I said. And I took him out of the purple race car chair. Bad sideburns and all.

So it's kind of funny now, several days later. I went in yesterday and had a chat with the store owner, who offered to correct the cut. Um...I don't think so lady. I'll just take the refund and be on my way.

The good news is that his hair grows fast and we are heading to our regular stylists to do some damage control. It probably won't be any $12 special, but he won't look like I had to cut gum out of his hair either.

Oh yeah, and that commemorative photo. (Now please remind me why I would want a commemorative photo, shot with a crappy point and shoot by the teenage receptionist working at a childrens hair salon, when I am a professional shooter with a very expensive camera who documented the entire debacle from start to finish???)

Well, they let us keep it despite the fact that I got a refund.

Which is great, because I want to remember this.

Always.