His foster mother's eyes were red-rimmed from crying but she didn't let a tear fall in front of him. His foster father said his wishes for him were that he'd be a good, kind person who cared about others. I started to sob as the social worker told us it was time to go.
We stepped into the tiny silver elevator, the doors closing while his foster parents waved goodbye.
We were all shocked, not sure what had really just happened.
His eyes were big during the cab ride. He sat quietly in my lap and watched the world pass by the windows. We walked into our hotel and hurried up to our room.
The Man and Little Man parked themselves on the floor for an impromptu picnic. He made funny faces as he tried the baby food we brought. He ate quietly, staring at The Man. He still hadn't cried at all. He was so tough.
We attempted our first nap time. And he slept! The Man and I locked eyes over his sleeping head. We are a family.
|Family Day, 2012|
As I reflect on the past year, the word that comes to mind is more. With Little Man in our lives, we've experienced more of so many things:
More living in the present.
More full hearts.
Just, more of everything.
It was definitely more difficult than I had anticipated. I guess when you picture your life with kids, you know it will be tough, but nothing can really prepare you for the reality of it. And the adoption aspect of things makes it a little more of a challenge. Not everyone's attachment process is the same, but for us, this first year wasn't easy. I think we are starting to get to a good place, but it's definitely been a long, slow process for us. We are still on our journey.
But for all the ups and downs (and sleep deprivation), really, becoming a family has been more incredible than I imagined. I am constantly amazed by this tiny person. He's such a fighter (which sometimes really drives me crazy) and has a strong heart. He's passionate, sweet, determined, and exuberant. Smart, funny, loving...
Daily, I think, how the hell did we get so lucky? How did this amazing person end up in our lives?
There's all kinds of ways to explain it. Fate, a higher power, karma, whatever. I have no idea what brought us all together. But I'm truly thankful.