2015 Korean and adoption Christmas ornaments round-up

(Grrr Blogger....apologies for all the crazy font variety in this post. It wasn't intentional and I can't figure out how to fix it!!)

Another year flown by and I realize that I've been a totally lame blogger. I really miss writing. Miss sitting down and having time to think and reflect. It's good for me. Slows me down a bit.

So a quick update on our past year. We are JUST starting to feel settled after our big move to Portland last September. New jobs for both of us. Temporary housing in an apartment with all our belongings stored until we could find a house. Another move (moving twice in a year is NOT recommended). Another school change for the boys. Little Man turned 5 and started kindergarten this year. Little Brother turned 3. 

And me...I'm started to breathe again. Starting to think about how I can try and fit in a little more time for myself, but many days it seems that we are barely holding this ship together. People say life will get busier and crazier as the boys get older. Sheesh...I can't imagine.

Last year's holiday ornament post was popular, so I thought I'd try to do another. I think many of the links for last year's finds might be good still, so be sure to check them out.

As always, Etsy totally rules for finding Korean ornaments. I'm totally loving this satin/fabric ornament from OrnamentDesigns on Etsy. Made to order for $25. Seller says it's created with Hanbok fabric purchased on a trip to South Korea in 2014.

Craftmaker LifeStitchedTogether has these very cute (and inexpensive!) maps, though I'm not sure they would be done in time for the holidays. $13

And check out these simple but sweet outlines of South Korea from WDShoppe for $11.50.

One last find on Etsy worth thinking about---these cut wooden ornaments that feature South Korea from PalmettoEngraving. Laser cut from birch and can be custom engraved with names/dates. Super steal at $6.99!

Be sure to check out Amazon. A simple "korean ornament" search led to this porcelain ornament.

http://amzn.to/1lqd2pg

Also discovered on Amazon were these beautiful traditional norigae, typically worn to adorn hanboks, but I think they would look fantastic on the tree. These are not likely to be here in time for Christmas, but maybe next year? http://amzn.to/1XCWR48

Cafe Press and Zazzle both have quite a selection of custom printed ornaments. I have no idea of the quality but you can even create your own designs. Here's a selection from Cafe Press.

Mandy's Moon also has a great selection of ornaments and cards that reflect multicultural families, not just Korean adoption families. They have customizable options for skin tones on ornaments, cards, etc. 

At our house we really love creating our own decorations and keep them from year to year. This year we'll be doing a paper doll craft, based on this free pattern. http://www.education.com/worksheet/article/paper-dolls-world-asia-XII/

The dolls also might look cute tucked into a clear class Christmas ornament with strips of Korean Hanji paper and glitter. Or something like that.

Single motherhood in Korea, KUMFA holiday gift drive

Mission complete! We just filled Korean Unwed Mothers Families’ Association last requested donation for a single mother and her five-year-old daughter in Korea. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! This program advocates for the rights of unwed pregnant women and unwed mothers in Korea. It was started by single mothers themselves!

The majority of children placed for adoption from South Korea are from single mothers. Think back to the taboo of unwed childbirth back in the 1950s in the USA. There's that type of stigma (though I think it's much worse) that still exists in Korea today.

This is a complex topic to understand. It's so culturally ingrained in the society that it's really difficult for a woman to buck the system.




Eat Your Kimchi posted this great video about the topic. One stat they had that blew my mind. According to the Ministry of Health and Welfare in 2007, out of 100 pregnancies by a single woman, 96 of them will have an abortion (though it is illegal there), and only 4 will give birth.

Of those four, three children will be placed for adoption due to social discrimination and financial difficulties.

One in 100 single mothers actually are able to keep their children! So heartbreaking.

Single mothers are ostracized, keep their status secret or they can be fired from their jobs, are alienated from friends and family, and there is no source of public funding available to help them. Children of a single mother are also treated sub-standardly.

There are some uncomfortable stats and information in the video about adoption.  I can't deny these make me squirm a lot. I have to acknowledge that adoption agencies do have a part to play in the messed up culture of unwed motherhood in Korea. Of course don't condone a practice of coercion by adoption agencies in getting these women to place their children, but the alternatives (abortion, for one) is heartbreaking too. More on that in another deep, philosophical post.

Anyhow, be sure to watch the video for more insights on single motherhood in Korea. And also check out this excellent post about KUMFA and their programs to support single mothers.

And if you are interested in donating too, here's the links:

• To donate to KUMFA or Heater, a home for unwed mothers/children (international): Paypal kumfa.volunteer@gmail.com
• To donate to Ae Ran Won, a program that helps provide counseling, job training and financial assistance to unwed mothers/children: http://www.aeranwon.com/help-us.php 

For more about single mothers, read our previous post "Forever family and single mom's day in Korea".

Sources for Korean Christmas Ornaments

Our 2014 family ornament from HERE.

Christmas is right around the corner! I'm trying not to panic! I'm using too many exclamations!

We aren't big-fuss holiday folks. Maybe that's because it's been just the two of us for most of our 20+ Christmas celebrations together. But I LOVE decorating the tree. We have boxes of ornaments, most of which were given to us as children. We ooh and ahh as the memories come back. Those ornaments are like tiny time capsules. The special ones from Iran given to The Man by his Aunt Shirley. The salt dough gingerbread man from my childhood who has survived for 40 years. The yellowed and frayed angel that my sister and I used to fight over every year.

We hang those ornaments on our aluminum tree, and somehow, all the Christmas love of the past is magically brought to the present. It's one of my favorite traditions.

Since the boys came home, we've been giving them ornaments each year too. We have some really fantastic ones that represent their Korean heritage, as well as a reminder of things they are interested at this specific age. Throughout the year we keep our eyes open for things that can be used as ornaments, writing the boys names and dates on them.

This year's special ornament was ordered from Etsy seller Geraldandkellyhong. It's a beautiful porcelain design in a light green glaze. It reads "family" and commemorates Little Brother's homecoming this year.

Another adoptive mama (Hi Yvonne!) was recently searching out sources for Korean-themed ornaments. They are hard to come by! So I thought I'd do a round-up of all the different adoption/Korean Christmas ornaments that I've been able to dig up.

We haven't ordered from most of these retailers, so I cannot speak about quality. But if you try them out or have favorite retailers of your own, please comment!

I LOVE these tag ornaments from EthiopiaDad. They are made from laser-cut wood and priced reasonably. He's taking pre-orders so if you like them, you should hop to it! There are also Korea-specific ornaments, but I really love this one. There's ornaments for plenty of other countries too such as China, Africa, and Guatemala.  http://www.ethiopiadad.com/collections/405960-korea-ornaments

Bronner's Christmas Wonderland in Michigan carries this blown glass South Korean flag.
http://www.bronners.com/product/korean-flag-glass-ornament.do

Etsy has a great selection of hand-crafted decorations. Try a variety of searches such as 'hangul' or 'korea christmas', 'korean ornament', etc. I LOVE these porcelain ornaments made by seller geraldandkellyhong. This one says 'family'. https://www.etsy.com/listing/170789641/korean-family-ceramic-ornament?ref=related-0

There's a waiting list for this adorable nativity scene made from Etsy seller mysakuraprincess.
I'm guessing you won't have it for this holiday but maybe get your order in for next year? There are other selections such as the three wise men. https://www.etsy.com/listing/167812432/korean-nativity-set-hand-painted-6?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=ConnectedShop&utm_campaign=Share

Seller rusticcraftdesign has these wooden ornaments which say 'I love you' on the front and can be personalized with a name or date on the back. https://www.etsy.com/listing/120351718/korean-i-love-you-with-heart-rustic-wood?ref=sr_gallery_20&ga_search_query=korea+ornament&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

This little polyresin ornament features a girl in Hanbok. There is also a version with angel wings. http://www.afk.com/catalog/Detail.tpl?command=search&db=afkstore.db&eqSKUdata=ORN302W&cart=1415745177192566

This ornament features a girl in Hanbok, made out of resin. Sold at Mandy's Moon.
http://www.mandysmoon.com/store/korean-girl-christmas-ornament

These miniature Korean drums aren't necessarily Christmas tree ornaments, but they would look great on our tree! http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Korea-Drum-crafts-macrobian-drum-4-h-p01622/919551590.html

Adoptiongiftsonline.com has a few ornaments tucked into their selection. You have to dig through and they look like they are printed on ceramic by Zazzle. http://adoptiongiftsonline.com/korea-adoption-gifts/

Zazzle has a huge selection as well and they are fully customizable. They are printed metal but look to be a bit more ornate, depending on the design. http://www.zazzle.com.au/korean+ornaments

CafePress has a huge selection. They are flat aluminum ornaments with a printed design. http://www.cafepress.com/+korea+ornaments

Don't forget to check Amazon and Ebay! I found this hand-painted Korean fan dancer on Amazon! 

Korean Fan Dancer Hand-painted Glass Ball Ornament

And, one last thought. You can trim your tree with home-made ornaments! Here's a few ideas:

Knotting is a very popular artform in Korea. Here are instructions for a good luck knot. http://doitandhow.com/2013/06/21/good-luck-knot/

Or you could have the kids make a Sam Taeguk fan. This would also be pretty cute made out of salt dough clay! http://www.incultureparent.com/2011/04/korean-craft-make-a-traditional-sam-taeguk-fan/

These beautiful paper lotus lamps are typically used to celebrate Buddha's Birthday, but they would look fantastic on a tree! The center of the flower has a paper cup to hold the traditional candle, but you could cut a small hole and push a tree light through there for the same effect. http://www.incultureparent.com/2012/05/lotus-lanterns-for-wesak-buddha-day/

Korean merchandise & online shopping

(Screen capture of hanboks for sale at http://english.11st.co.kr)

It never fails. No matter how much I prepare for our trips, I come back and realize that I didn't buy something. Or couldn't find something.

In this case, I don't have the traditional hat for either of the boy's hanbok. Which I'm not sure is really a huge deal since they stay on for all of 5-seconds. But still.

So of course, with all the free time that I have (insert eye roll here) I have been obsessed with figuring out where to buy Korean items while outside of Korea. Let me tell you. It ain't easy.

I've rounded up some sites for finding Korean goods and posted them to the handy dandy page (on the left side of the page) called....Korean Products & Cultural Products. Clever name, huh? Here's a few highlights from the list:

Little Seouls: Toys, housewares, hanboks. Based in the U.S.

Arts and Crafts Korea: Lots of really great items here, many that are handmade. Clothing, accessories, household items. Plus, they give adoptive families a lifetime 10% discount.

Koreana Gifts And Art: Don't let the really horrible website deter you. Dig around and you'll find a lot of traditional dolls, knives, clothing and drums. They are based out of Los Angeles.

Yes Asia: Toys, gifts, collectibles and K-Drama!! Lots here. Ships to U.S.

HMart: The go-to place for Korean food items, but they also have plenty of household goods, kitchenware, and other items. Also lots of stores around the U.S. so see if there's one near you.

Please go check it out, and definitely let us know if you've found any other places to shop from.


And, if you didn't know, there's also a handy list of Korean themed items such as jewelry or dolls (but they aren't necessarily Korean-made or traditional) found on the Adoption Gift Ideas & Korea-related Products page. It's also located on the left side rail of this blog. There's quite a few great shops to find that special gift!

A few things to check out

I'd love to sit down and write out a nice long post. But the entire household is asleep (including the dog) and I'm savoring this little bit of quiet time!

Wanted to share these adoption related things that I've run across. Thought some of you might find them interesting.

Adoptionland: From Orphans to Activists
This Kindle e-book is available right now on Amazon for free. It's normally $9.99. I'm an Amazon Prime member so I'm not sure if it's free to everyone right now, or how long this will be available.

Ever wondered what it’s like to be adopted? This anthology begins with personal accounts and then shifts to a bird’s eye view on adoption from domestic, intercountry and transracial adoptees who are now adoptee rights activists. Along with adopted people, this collection also includes the voices of mothers and a father from the Baby Scoop Era, a modern-day mother who almost lost her child to adoption, and ends with the experience of an adoption investigator from Against Child Trafficking. These stories are usually abandoned by the very industry that professes to work for the “best interest of children,” “child protection,” and for families. However, according to adopted people who were scattered across nations as children, these represent typical human rights issues that have been ignored for too long. For many years, adopted people have just dealt with such matters alone, not knowing that all of us—as a community—have a great deal in common. 

I read through a bit of it. It's likely going to be uncomfortable reading for many adoptive parents as many contributors to the book do not have a favorable view of adoption. However, I do believe their concerns are important to hear and understand, and in many cases completely valid.

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Finding Seoul - Trailer from John Sanvidge on Vimeo.

"Finding Seoul" was released recently. Prices are reduced this weekend, with a "rental" at $2.99, and purchase/download of the video for $7.99. Here's how the movie is described on the Finding Seoul website:

Finding Seoul follows one individual as he attempts to find his birth parents. John Sanvidge was raised in upstate New York and brought up in an Irish and Italian household with his two siblings, who are also adopted. During his journey, he visits with his adoptive family to help them understand why he’s made the decision to look now and travels to Seoul, South Korea all in an attempt to reconnect with a world he doesn't understand.

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We are loving these Korean-English books we found on Amazon! They have a ton of different varieties like sports, jobs, numbers, vegetables, etc. Super fun for us all to read and learn with!

The quantities are limited right now, but they say they will restock soon.

Here's a link to the search.



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For Milwaukee area adoptive families, you might want to check out these classes at UW-Milwaukee this summer! Korean language and culture classes for 6-8th graders and 9-12th grade students.

http://www4.uwm.edu/sce/course.cfm?id=28217



Happy weekend!!

Our Korean Adventure: Traveling in Korea, adoption and other random tidbits

The fourth and final installment catching you up on our first trip to Korea. Figured I'd better get all this in before we our off for our second trip.

We had some awesome experiences that brought Korea nearer and dearer to our hearts. Our Korean school teacher here in Wisconsin had arranged for a dinner for us. SJ is from Seoul and she said a friend of hers would like to make dinner for us. It was sort of awkward for us because we weren't really sure we wanted to commit to spending time with complete strangers. But she really wanted to do this for us, and so we agreed.

Mr. Kang's restaurant was really lovely. It specialized in fusion Japanese-Korean cuisine, mainly seafood. The seating and style is very traditional Korean with floor seating and ondol heating. He was waiting outside when we arrived by taxi and it was only about 5 minutes from our hotel. He gave us a very nice tour, but his English is very rough. We mostly communicated with one or two words and a lot of smiles. The restaurant was closed and he opened it up just for us!

Then SJ's two sisters arrived to join us for the meal, and they had their teen daughters with them. Little Man was starting to feel some of the travel strain so he was a bit of a handful but really, the dinner was one of the highlights of our trip!

The meal was about 5 courses (the food just kept coming!) and because we are vegetarian, he had two different meals---one for our family and food for the other families. One of the sisters spoke pretty good English, and our Korean teacher SJ was translating from Milwaukee via text.

One thing we kept coming back to again and again is the extreme kindness of Koreans. I know we might be biased, but it's just so amazing to us how generous and kind they are. One example is in the subway---it's an amazing system and really easy to use, but our first time back to the subway we were studying the map and trying to remember how to get around. A man saw we looked confused as we were buying our trip ticket. He asked if he could help and consulted the map with us to figure out where we needed to go. He watched as we bought our tickets and then waved us to follow him through the gates and onto the subway. We thought, how nice, he's going the same direction we are.

When we arrived at our stop (about 3 stops down) he popped up and waved at us to follow him out. I thought, wow, he was going the same direction we were! We followed him out of the turnstiles, he watched as we returned our subway card for a refund, and then he pointed to our exit. He waved good-bye and turned back to buy a new subway ticket before running back to the loading ramp. He went so far out of his way for strangers!!

This happened again and again. When we might look lost or in need of help, someone came and offered it. We were so grateful.

Finally, one of the best parts of this trip was meeting other adoptive families. There's something really powerful about being on a similar track together and it builds and instant camaraderie. One of the greatest joys for us was connecting with a family from California. Mama T. reached out to us via our blog and so happy she did! Our families have so much in common! The California family was also returning to Korea for their second child and their first child is Little Man's age. Through the weeks of preparing for travel we were tearing up the email lines, comparing lists of things we were bringing, what we were wearing and trying to figure out logistics like phone and internet service.

Meeting them in person was wonderful and the boys got on well. Little Man was bossy and emotional but their California-cool even-keeled boy took it all in stride. Watching the boys play helped me relax a bit and gave Little Man something to look forward to. It was a great friendship condensed into a few days and I have a good feeling that we'll be in touch for a long time to come.

One particularly great memory will be after the stress of our court date. Following court, we joined the California family to celebrate (and make good on a bribe for the boys to be good in court) with ice cream. As we headed to ice cream shop, we ran into another family we met in court (NY family), so they joined us too. We had the shop to ourselves for quite a while and the boys ran wild. We huddled in a corner and talked openly and candidly about our adoptions, thoughts, hopes and fears. (The NY family has since been united with their son and doing great! Yay!!) I just love how we can come from all corners of the country, all different backgrounds and experiences, and yet, hanging out with them was so easy and natural.

We also met the families of two women I have met through my Facebook support group who were traveling at the same time! In that group, we cheer for one another at each tiny step of the way. When the three of us found out that we'd be traveling at the same time, we were able to compare information, figure out hotels, and figure out the logistics of our trip together. What a help! One super sweet family even met us at the bus stop to guide us to our hotel and help carry luggage. Incredibly awesome! And, since we'll all be bringing kids home at the same time, I know that we'll be able to continue to support one another as we work through the transitions together.

The crazy ups and downs of adoption: we have a visa appointment in Korea!

Oh my gosh. There really aren't enough words to tell you how different this adoption process is from the first! The only words I can use to really describe it is ROLLER COASTER.

This whole adoption has been filled with long waits, breathless anticipation, feeling like you aren't making progress at all, only to be catapulted forward and have things move so quickly you can hardly catch your breath.

On Wednesday, our social worker emailed (?!) and told us the good news was that we had received preliminary approval from the courts in Korea on 2/7/14 and had officially entered the 14-day waiting period. Yay!

She then followed it with the bad news---the courts had closed and were not processing final adoption decrees or hearing any new cases. The closure was for an unspecified amount of time but we were now on hold, likely not traveling until the middle or end of March.

We were sick. We have spent the past two months living with the unsettling feeling that "any minute now" we'd find out about something--first waiting for our court appearance and now waiting for our return. It's been hard to settle and relax when all we could think about was when are we going?  And now, when it seemed that we'd be heading out the door any day, we find out that we still had weeks to wait.

My parents had already begun the 5-day drive to reach Wisconsin. Based on estimates, we figured that our case would be closing on February 24. Of course, no guarantees, but because most families are only given 2-4 days notice before having to return to Korea, we opted to play it safe and have them here. The new timeline meant that they'd be hanging out in Milwaukee, able to enjoy all it's Polar Vortex gloriousness. I called my folks and told them not to hurry.

I cried that night. Felt the lowest I've been throughout this whole 18-month process. I moped around and then slowly started trying to find the bright side of things. We'd have more time to prepare. Maybe Mom and I could sew some curtains for the boys room. I started making lists to help keep me busy for the next few weeks.

And then, we received a huge reminder just how crazy this whole process is. On Thursday, The Man started calling and texting me. CALL ME!! Less than 24-hours after we were told we weren't traveling,  we received another email (really, isn't there a better way to notify us than email?!) telling us that we had a visa appointment in Korea and we needed to be there next week.

WHAT?!! Seriously??

Of course, the social worker didn't tell us exactly when our visa appointment date was or when we had to be there and we frantically tried calling her. After 30-minutes of busy signals, someone finally answered and told us that our social worker had sent the same email to 7 families and we were all calling. Duh. Not like we've been waiting months on end for this or anything.

I reached out to other families who had court dates the same date as us. Two of them had received the same info on Wednesday, followed by the same shocking announcement on Thursday! One family has a March 6 visa appointment, and the other has a March 10 appointment.

About 4 hours after the email, we had answers. As of February 26, we were officially Little Brother's parents! In addition, we have a March 11 visa appointment and so, need to be in Korea next week. We had a little more notice than some of the families, which is greatly appreciated. But it's definitely not the 2-week notice that our social worker had told us that "every one of their families had been getting". (Thank goodness again, for our networking group. I knew that most families have only received 2-4 days notice, so was fairly sure our social worker was mistaken.)

What was really awesome is that my folks pulled into town just hours after we got all the great news! So....it worked out just great. Thank heavens! We've had a wonderful few days together. Time to wrap up work. Time to take care of details that will make life after we return a little easier. And possibly, a little time to breathe!

We head to Chicago on Wednesday. Fly to Seoul on Thursday morning. Arrive on Friday night. A few days to recover and we'll take custody of him either Monday or Tuesday. And Tuesday afternoon, a visa hearing.

Can't wait to start the next phase of our life. And so very happy to be getting off this roller coaster! We are coming, Little Brother!!

Our Korean adventure, part III: the new process and court

As most of you know, the Korean adoption program has underwent a major overhaul since the passage of the new adoption law in 2012. There is virtually nothing about the program that is the same, other than the country.

While we were in Korea for the first of our two trips for this adoption, I had some really interesting conversations with our Korean social worker about their opinions on the new rules. They feel that the new rules have hurt single mothers rather than help them. Now, all babies must be registered on the mother's birth registry until the time that they are adopted. At that point, the records will be stricken. The aim of this is to give adoptees more access to their birth records/family of origin.

I asked whether she felt the passage of the law has led to more single women choosing to parent their children, (the intent of the backers of the law), and she said not really. She said there has been a decline in the number of children being placed. According to the social worker, more women are turning to "other" means---instead of adoption they are choosing to abandon their children or choosing abortion. I have also heard that because the new law requires that birth mothers cannot relinquish the babies until 7 days after birth, that some of the mothers have changed their mind during this time and decided to parent. Our social worker said yes, this has happened on occasion, but it is rare. So very sad.

We looked at the Baby Reception area of the agency. The beds were very full and many of the children seemed older than when we had seen this area before. Typically, the babies only stay here until they are 5-months-old and then they are placed into foster families. But because the process is taking so much longer now, there are not as many foster families available.

Another huge change for the program is the court process. With Little Man's adoption, we saw him once at his foster home and then took custody a few days later. We were technically his foster family here in the U.S. for the first 6-months we had him, and then we finalized in U.S. court where his name was legally changed and he became a citizen.

With the process change, adoptive parents must have mandatory visits with the child and then go to court in Korea to get an adoption decree.

The court process was intimidating and nerve-wracking. We just had no idea what to expect. Our agency didn't tell us a thing other than the date/time of our court date and that I had to wear a dress or skirt. We met at our Korean agency at the appointed time and three other families loaded into a van. We were handed a single sheet of paper for all the families to review with possible questions the judge would ask us. They ranged from what were our child-rearing philosophies, how we handled marital conflict, if we would give the child freedom of religion, and what pre-adoption class we found most beneficial. We were told to smile a lot and talk to the judge and not the translator.

We arrived at court and our judge was running over a full hour ahead of schedule! We thought we had time to mentally prepare, but next thing we knew, they were calling in people from our group. We were last in the group of four, and each family was only in there about 5 minutes. They all walked out saying it was easy and more like a conversation than a hearing.

Finally it was our turn. We had given Little Man a coloring book and bribed him with ice cream if he sat quietly during the hearing. The courtroom was just like a U.S. courtroom. We sat on the left table, the translator at the table to our right. The judge was young and very nice. He smiled at us, but immediately launched into questioning me about my line of work. I am a news photographer and he wanted details about the type of work I do. I kept my answers pretty simple. Partially because I went blank, and partially because things get complicated when you are dealing with a translator. He wanted to know what our child care plans were and how I was going to handle work and being a mother. I told him how much time I'd be taking off for maternity leave and how our son is only in daycare 3 days a week, and we'd follow the same plan for Little Brother.

He asked my husband if we had met Little Brother and if we loved him. (We answered yes, we loved him in our hearts but it would take time for all of us to grow to love one another. He seemed to like this answer.) He asked what our parenting philosophy was (teach children to be kind to others, do good things in the world).

He then moved on and wanted to ask questions of Little Man. I wasn't sure how Little Man would handle this because he usually clams up when asked direct questions by strangers. The judge  asked if he had met his brother (he didn't look up but answered yes). He asked if he was ready to accept his responsibilities of being a big brother. (All we could do was get Little Man to do was nod.) And there was some other question that I have forgotten. The judge didn't really seem to care that Little Man was being shy.

Then made us promise to love and care for Little Brother throughout his life. We said yes, of course, and he said "I am 100% positive that you will be excellent parents." It was then that I burst into tears. Our translator looked over at me, worried, and said "you did really really good". I told her I was crying because I was so happy. 

And that was our court appearance. In all, it lasted about 8 minutes. But it seemed to take forever.

One nice thing is that we had to give our Korean agency our son's American name and evidently our adoption decree will be given in his American name so there won't be a need to readopt here in the states. Our adoption will be finalized in Korea, meaning once we take custody, he's ours. His social security card is supposed to be sent to our home (instead of multiple visits to the SS office trying to get it) and we will be sent his Certificate of Citizenship (which also took a long time to get with Little Man's process).

One more huge difference with the new process is that birth mothers can choose, at the time of relinquishment, if they want to be contacted before an adoption is processed. If a birth mother should choose this, the agency must contact her before the court hearing. If they are not able to make contact, the process may be delayed. An agency must attempt to contact a birth mother three times. If they are successful, she has 14 days to evaluate the action. If she does not protest the action, then the preliminary adoption decree may be issued and another 14-day waiting period begins before the decree can be final. If they are not able to make contact with the birth mother, then a public notice of the action is posted on a website for 14 days. If no one protests the public notice then the decree is issued and the final 14-day waiting period begins.

I know this is really confusing, but for families stuck in this waiting period, it's really brutal. It's something that I'm not sure many families in process actually even know about. I've heard of many families being frustrated that they have not received their final adoption decree weeks or even months after their court appearance. It's likely that many of these families' cases have had birth mother contact issues and they were not aware. 

The new process is definitely not easy. It's a challenge because many of the procedures are being worked out and continue to be in flux. Agencies seem to be struggling to keep up with these fluctuations and changes. And state-side social workers don't seem to be well informed about what's happening at all. There are times when I wonder how this entire system even manages to keep operational.